an early wish to everyone..
HAPPY NEW YEAR !
hope that in the year of 2010,everyone will stay healthy and happy..
recently my uncle's life isnt that satisfying,erm.. i mean quite terrible..
im worry bout him,he is my closest uncle,he was the one who saved me from my psycho world..
so,i sincerely pray that his life will turn into a good one,not to say perfect but at least not a bad one in the coming 2010 year..
best wishes for him,all the best and may all his dreams come true..
i have a few wishes for the coming 2010 year,hope that all my wishes will come true..
1) Hope that all my family members and friends will stay healthy,happy and safe epecially my dad,mum,grandpa,brothers and youngest uncle..
2) Hope that i will excel in studies,same goes to my brothers..
3) Hope that i will get what i wish for.. *greedy smile*
4) Hope that he and me will stay happy forever,and hope that our relationship will last long..
lastly and the most important wish is that :-
*Taa Daa*
-Hope that all my wishes above will be fulfilled,will come true..
Haha..
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010 !
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
*HURTFUL*
erm.. i dun feel good from last nite till now..
was happily chatting thru phone last nite,but felt very hurtful after a small matter..
yeah,it was a small matter,just few lines of words expressed from the voie cord,but it wasnt a small matter for me,in fact it left a big aftermath to me..
i cried,yeah,i really cried after sucha long time didnt drop tears !
althou it didnt seem serious,somehow it still give a big impact to my feeling,especially..
if it wasnt from his mouth,i bet i wouldnt be tis sad..
i just couldnt accept,it reminded me of the time i was psycho-ing..
i cried a lot,even after i hung up the phone,tears still couldnt stop rolling down..
i could hardly breath,suffocated !
i swept floor in d middle of the nite,the single little thing still wandering in my mind,tears dropped again !
stayed awake till around 4am,slept after that..
tis morning,eyes swollen.. CRAP !
went to phin's house,she noticed my eyes swollen and from my face and emotion,she knew tat im unhappy..
she sms-ed me jz now and asked wat happen.. i didnt tell her yet..
im moody the whole day,even until now..
im sad..
i try hard to forget bout it,do not think bout it,stay cheerful,think to the positive side.. i try to smile,not in a fake way.. i really try hard to do all these,but i failed !
let me be alone for sometime,i will be OK soon,very very soon..
=)
was happily chatting thru phone last nite,but felt very hurtful after a small matter..
yeah,it was a small matter,just few lines of words expressed from the voie cord,but it wasnt a small matter for me,in fact it left a big aftermath to me..
i cried,yeah,i really cried after sucha long time didnt drop tears !
althou it didnt seem serious,somehow it still give a big impact to my feeling,especially..
if it wasnt from his mouth,i bet i wouldnt be tis sad..
i just couldnt accept,it reminded me of the time i was psycho-ing..
i cried a lot,even after i hung up the phone,tears still couldnt stop rolling down..
i could hardly breath,suffocated !
i swept floor in d middle of the nite,the single little thing still wandering in my mind,tears dropped again !
stayed awake till around 4am,slept after that..
tis morning,eyes swollen.. CRAP !
went to phin's house,she noticed my eyes swollen and from my face and emotion,she knew tat im unhappy..
she sms-ed me jz now and asked wat happen.. i didnt tell her yet..
im moody the whole day,even until now..
im sad..
i try hard to forget bout it,do not think bout it,stay cheerful,think to the positive side.. i try to smile,not in a fake way.. i really try hard to do all these,but i failed !
let me be alone for sometime,i will be OK soon,very very soon..
=)
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
*RESENTFUL*
as JW said,i write in chinese a bit "kik sui"..
so,i decided to write in english..
resentful,tat was it..
i really felt a bit irritated when i read tat blog..
i never knew that u will say so,in fact i can tell u,i even felt much much more disappointed than u do !
u didnt like my tone?! wat's going on,u were the one who being rude from the beginning,i didnt noe,mayb u didnt feel that,but i did feel !
u still say that, "我还能低声低气的和你聊".. ok,FINE if u think that u talk to me nicely..
yeah,u talked to me nicely,u did not wrong,im the one who couldnt accept,very sorie !
the way u talked to me,completely carved a word "FRUST" in my heart towards u..
never a boy talking so rudely to me,u were the first and CONGRATS !!
sorie if it offended u,i rili not happy reading the blog,it was so unexpected..
i stil remember vividly in my mind,every single hurting words u said to me..
"如果你要生气就生气饱它啦" , "....大老" for me,these two phrases really hurting,they were very rude if addressed to a girl.. i hate ppl talking to me and add the word "da lao" at the end of the sentence..
mayb some of u dont feel that they were rude,but i myself do not like these words,in fact i hate !
one more thing that dissappointed me the most was at the end of our conversation..
i didnt noe the conversation had came to an end,by just saying "我做所有的一切都是因为我爱你,拜",u hung the phone.. i was like,wat the ABCDEFG !
never a guy hung the call b4 i did,it was very irresponsible of a guy doing so..
yeah,everyone has his/her own way of thinking,to some of u it might not seem that serious,but for myself,i rili angry wit tat act..
again i stress the main thing here,dun ever hang up the phone unnoticely,pls end in a proper way !!!
sorie if all these offended u,but im just expressing what's inside my mind..
as u said,u r happy if i voice out the true thinking of mine..
u asked me why i make the decision to ask u to give up so fast,it was beause u were the one who decided 1st and tis forced me to make the next decision.. get me?
b4 i posted the blog,dated 16th of december,u ady wrote one,dated 15th dec..
and suprisingly,i didnt noe u have a blog until u revealed it to me..
after i posted that blog asking someone to not avoid the prob and come out to settle the problems in between us,u asked me whether that person is u..
i told u that u were the one i meant..
den oni u asked me to read ur blog and by then oni i noe u have one..
u posted tat blog on 15th,which was one day b4 i posted that particular blog..
in ur post,u mentioned that u had gave up me,which was obviously mentioned !
i never expected all these,OK fine !
i told myself,"i will never ever give u any chance to b my another half,NEVER !"
u gave up ur loved ones before she gives u up,how sad !
on the next day,u called me up and told me that u havent give me up..
wasnt that funny,u took me as toy izit?!
today u throw it because u dont like and tomoro u take it back coz u like it?!
anyway,tat was ur way of dealing wit things,mayb we dont understand each other..
im easily irritated,i dont afford to lose,i dont easily tolerate ppl.. ur characteristics are roughly the same as mine,and that's y we always argue..
dont tell me u r going to change,u dun need to,just be urself..
i wont force ppl to change because of me..
at the end,everything will still be the same..
anyway,thanx a lot for ur everything..
at least u do let me noe a lot of things,dun judge a ppl if u dun understand them..
i was really happy during the time with u,and was rili being frustrated at times..
nvm,just bear wit it..
i noe u will not easily give up as u requested me to keep back my words,i did,i kept back..
who noes what will happen in the future,and who gives a damn !
mayb we will be couple or mayb not..
i have my loved ones and we had started,i told u as u requested..
sorie,i noe it hurts..
i told u just because i do not want to hurt u more,just in case if u noe it in the future after i accepted another guy for so long..
thanx for ur everything,my friend !
i did cherish the happiness u brought to me !
take k and all the best for ur coming days !
=)
so,i decided to write in english..
resentful,tat was it..
i really felt a bit irritated when i read tat blog..
i never knew that u will say so,in fact i can tell u,i even felt much much more disappointed than u do !
u didnt like my tone?! wat's going on,u were the one who being rude from the beginning,i didnt noe,mayb u didnt feel that,but i did feel !
u still say that, "我还能低声低气的和你聊".. ok,FINE if u think that u talk to me nicely..
yeah,u talked to me nicely,u did not wrong,im the one who couldnt accept,very sorie !
the way u talked to me,completely carved a word "FRUST" in my heart towards u..
never a boy talking so rudely to me,u were the first and CONGRATS !!
sorie if it offended u,i rili not happy reading the blog,it was so unexpected..
i stil remember vividly in my mind,every single hurting words u said to me..
"如果你要生气就生气饱它啦" , "....大老" for me,these two phrases really hurting,they were very rude if addressed to a girl.. i hate ppl talking to me and add the word "da lao" at the end of the sentence..
mayb some of u dont feel that they were rude,but i myself do not like these words,in fact i hate !
one more thing that dissappointed me the most was at the end of our conversation..
i didnt noe the conversation had came to an end,by just saying "我做所有的一切都是因为我爱你,拜",u hung the phone.. i was like,wat the ABCDEFG !
never a guy hung the call b4 i did,it was very irresponsible of a guy doing so..
yeah,everyone has his/her own way of thinking,to some of u it might not seem that serious,but for myself,i rili angry wit tat act..
again i stress the main thing here,dun ever hang up the phone unnoticely,pls end in a proper way !!!
sorie if all these offended u,but im just expressing what's inside my mind..
as u said,u r happy if i voice out the true thinking of mine..
u asked me why i make the decision to ask u to give up so fast,it was beause u were the one who decided 1st and tis forced me to make the next decision.. get me?
b4 i posted the blog,dated 16th of december,u ady wrote one,dated 15th dec..
and suprisingly,i didnt noe u have a blog until u revealed it to me..
after i posted that blog asking someone to not avoid the prob and come out to settle the problems in between us,u asked me whether that person is u..
i told u that u were the one i meant..
den oni u asked me to read ur blog and by then oni i noe u have one..
u posted tat blog on 15th,which was one day b4 i posted that particular blog..
in ur post,u mentioned that u had gave up me,which was obviously mentioned !
i never expected all these,OK fine !
i told myself,"i will never ever give u any chance to b my another half,NEVER !"
u gave up ur loved ones before she gives u up,how sad !
on the next day,u called me up and told me that u havent give me up..
wasnt that funny,u took me as toy izit?!
today u throw it because u dont like and tomoro u take it back coz u like it?!
anyway,tat was ur way of dealing wit things,mayb we dont understand each other..
im easily irritated,i dont afford to lose,i dont easily tolerate ppl.. ur characteristics are roughly the same as mine,and that's y we always argue..
dont tell me u r going to change,u dun need to,just be urself..
i wont force ppl to change because of me..
at the end,everything will still be the same..
anyway,thanx a lot for ur everything..
at least u do let me noe a lot of things,dun judge a ppl if u dun understand them..
i was really happy during the time with u,and was rili being frustrated at times..
nvm,just bear wit it..
i noe u will not easily give up as u requested me to keep back my words,i did,i kept back..
who noes what will happen in the future,and who gives a damn !
mayb we will be couple or mayb not..
i have my loved ones and we had started,i told u as u requested..
sorie,i noe it hurts..
i told u just because i do not want to hurt u more,just in case if u noe it in the future after i accepted another guy for so long..
thanx for ur everything,my friend !
i did cherish the happiness u brought to me !
take k and all the best for ur coming days !
=)
Thursday, December 17, 2009
*对不起*
谢谢你一直以来对我那么好。。
也要说声抱歉因为我弄到你那么难受。。
我希望以后我们会有一段时间不会见到面因为如果我们见到，这只会弄到大家伤心。。
这一次放假我真的有想过要接收你，我已经打算等到羽球比赛过后回来才要给你答案。。
就在07/12/2009，我还很记得发生什么事。。
那天晚上我打电话回去给妈妈过后就打给朋友，你就叫我聊完才找你。。
聊完之后我就信息你，告诉你我过去我哥哥房间找他一下。。
你就叫我小心点，然后忙完我的东西再找你。。
到我得空了，我信息你跟你说我在朋友房间。。
我问你还要不要聊，不懂你得不得空聊因为隔了很多个钟了。。
你就回我信说，'你都说到这样了，我还能怎样'。。
当时我很生气因为我都不是这样的意思。。
那时候我就在想，我跟你这样下去都不是办法，以后会很常吵架，只能怪我自己小气，然后你也可能顶不顺我吧。。
我们都不是第一次吵架。。
你的jealousy程度也很高，这不只是我一个发觉到，外人也发觉得到。。
所以可能是这样我们才会常常吵架。。
从那天开始我就慢慢对你冷，也打算等到一天你再提起感情的东西，我会跟你说清楚。。
我回到来每天都烦这个问题，到底应不应该叫你放弃。。
我怕你会很伤心，象我一前给人家hurt那样，我知道很难受的，我足足哭了半年，psycho了半年。。我怕你会像我那样辛苦。。我也很怕我自己会做错决定。。结果我想了很久，终于有了最后的决定。。
现在都不用我说了，你都已经做了决定要放弃。。
我很感谢你这样做，也很对不起你。。
不要那么难过，我希望以后见到面，我们还是朋友。。
别那么伤心，不值得为了我而伤心难过。。
谢谢你一直以来那么疼爱我，要你等了半年，不好意思。。
保重了！
也要说声抱歉因为我弄到你那么难受。。
我希望以后我们会有一段时间不会见到面因为如果我们见到，这只会弄到大家伤心。。
这一次放假我真的有想过要接收你，我已经打算等到羽球比赛过后回来才要给你答案。。
就在07/12/2009，我还很记得发生什么事。。
那天晚上我打电话回去给妈妈过后就打给朋友，你就叫我聊完才找你。。
聊完之后我就信息你，告诉你我过去我哥哥房间找他一下。。
你就叫我小心点，然后忙完我的东西再找你。。
到我得空了，我信息你跟你说我在朋友房间。。
我问你还要不要聊，不懂你得不得空聊因为隔了很多个钟了。。
你就回我信说，'你都说到这样了，我还能怎样'。。
当时我很生气因为我都不是这样的意思。。
那时候我就在想，我跟你这样下去都不是办法，以后会很常吵架，只能怪我自己小气，然后你也可能顶不顺我吧。。
我们都不是第一次吵架。。
你的jealousy程度也很高，这不只是我一个发觉到，外人也发觉得到。。
所以可能是这样我们才会常常吵架。。
从那天开始我就慢慢对你冷，也打算等到一天你再提起感情的东西，我会跟你说清楚。。
我回到来每天都烦这个问题，到底应不应该叫你放弃。。
我怕你会很伤心，象我一前给人家hurt那样，我知道很难受的，我足足哭了半年，psycho了半年。。我怕你会像我那样辛苦。。我也很怕我自己会做错决定。。结果我想了很久，终于有了最后的决定。。
现在都不用我说了，你都已经做了决定要放弃。。
我很感谢你这样做，也很对不起你。。
不要那么难过，我希望以后见到面，我们还是朋友。。
别那么伤心，不值得为了我而伤心难过。。
谢谢你一直以来那么疼爱我，要你等了半年，不好意思。。
保重了！
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
*TIME 4 DECISION*
its time to decide,wat shud i do?
decisions r always difficult to make..
no matter wat the decision is,any one of the parties involved will suffer..
or else,i suffer..
let the game comes to an END,perhaps that might be the best decision made..
im waiting for the time to come,when time comes,there it is,problems solved,heartS bleed !
holiday is not really a holiday for me,holiday starts means vexation starts..
mayb tats d problem of being too free.. haha !
try to get wat i mean in the following sentences..
NEVER mix oil and water for they will cause the situation to be aggravated..
sometimes things of the same species,or so-called same gang are not necessary to be gathered together..
separate them,tat might be the best outta all !
at least,they can tolerate each other and situation is under controlled..
time flies,im leaving BG,very soon !
i hope that everything will be settled b4 i leave..
pls do sth to settle everything,dun let the things hanging for no reason..
i really do not noe what shud i do,all these make me EMO for most of the days during holiday..
just to remind,dont be offended by my words and pls dont EVADE from probs !
when things approach,they approach,brave urself,solve them !
when i feel dismay,i hope someone is there for me..
but he is not there,in fact,he is trying to avoid me..
what's he trying to do? forget me? giving up? feeling torturous?
if YES,do let me noe.. i will give u my answer..
thanx to those ppl who always accompany me,who always call me to share my problems,who always by my side,seeing my tears rolling down,cheering me up and most importantly keeping ur soul with me..
u guys' kind act will leave a deep deep memory in the grey matter of mine..
THANX ppl,LOVE u ppl so much !
back to KL tis week,any questions pls contact me and ask !
ADIOUS !
decisions r always difficult to make..
no matter wat the decision is,any one of the parties involved will suffer..
or else,i suffer..
let the game comes to an END,perhaps that might be the best decision made..
im waiting for the time to come,when time comes,there it is,problems solved,heartS bleed !
holiday is not really a holiday for me,holiday starts means vexation starts..
mayb tats d problem of being too free.. haha !
try to get wat i mean in the following sentences..
NEVER mix oil and water for they will cause the situation to be aggravated..
sometimes things of the same species,or so-called same gang are not necessary to be gathered together..
separate them,tat might be the best outta all !
at least,they can tolerate each other and situation is under controlled..
time flies,im leaving BG,very soon !
i hope that everything will be settled b4 i leave..
pls do sth to settle everything,dun let the things hanging for no reason..
i really do not noe what shud i do,all these make me EMO for most of the days during holiday..
just to remind,dont be offended by my words and pls dont EVADE from probs !
when things approach,they approach,brave urself,solve them !
when i feel dismay,i hope someone is there for me..
but he is not there,in fact,he is trying to avoid me..
what's he trying to do? forget me? giving up? feeling torturous?
if YES,do let me noe.. i will give u my answer..
thanx to those ppl who always accompany me,who always call me to share my problems,who always by my side,seeing my tears rolling down,cheering me up and most importantly keeping ur soul with me..
u guys' kind act will leave a deep deep memory in the grey matter of mine..
THANX ppl,LOVE u ppl so much !
back to KL tis week,any questions pls contact me and ask !
ADIOUS !
Monday, November 16, 2009
*IM BACK*
my blog has become a dead blog,since i didnt update it for errr... quite sometime i guess..
neway,was quite bz wit tonnes of stuffs to be settled..
exam just ended a week ago,and we had got back our papers,i mean d results..
was really disappointed,but thank God,im able to maintain my scholarship..
was very disappointed wit my maths ):
recently lots of things happened,really will be a draggy task to write all out..
so,i will just highlight some important things..
will start wit my mum's condition,she is OKIE now and im happy.. =)
parents back to work after a 6 weeks break,they can start work earlier but due to the later arrival of the new van,it has to be postponed till last week..
still praying hard for mum.hope she will fully recover soon..
tis week will be my last week of skul till next year..
holiday is just around d corner,wheezz ! :)
btw,i will back to college on 9th of december for d badminton competition.. it's an interskul competition and i will be representing School of Pre-U Studies..
wish me LUCK ya.. thou quite imposibble to win even d second runner up,but not wrong to give it a try,ryte?
just enjoy d game ! =]
last friday was my 1st day hanging out wit Gideon,Kai Sheng,together wit my babes,andrea n carwyn.. we went to watch PHOBIA 2,it was nice..
interesting and somebody scared ! she requested to bath wit me and even slept wit me tat nite..
wahaha.. dun need to mention who was tat lar,tau2 saja lar.. hehe.. XD
saturday went to wacth 2012 wit anthony and KC,it was nice..
had KFC after tat..
erm,nth much to say..
look forward to go back to hometown..
will be back tis saturday,wanna meet all my old frens !!
will be missing my friends here in college and especially in hostel,get wat i mean ryte?
=)
neway,people in my hometown,my old buddies..
let's go yumcha K?
cya..
ciaoz!
neway,was quite bz wit tonnes of stuffs to be settled..
exam just ended a week ago,and we had got back our papers,i mean d results..
was really disappointed,but thank God,im able to maintain my scholarship..
was very disappointed wit my maths ):
recently lots of things happened,really will be a draggy task to write all out..
so,i will just highlight some important things..
will start wit my mum's condition,she is OKIE now and im happy.. =)
parents back to work after a 6 weeks break,they can start work earlier but due to the later arrival of the new van,it has to be postponed till last week..
still praying hard for mum.hope she will fully recover soon..
tis week will be my last week of skul till next year..
holiday is just around d corner,wheezz ! :)
btw,i will back to college on 9th of december for d badminton competition.. it's an interskul competition and i will be representing School of Pre-U Studies..
wish me LUCK ya.. thou quite imposibble to win even d second runner up,but not wrong to give it a try,ryte?
just enjoy d game ! =]
last friday was my 1st day hanging out wit Gideon,Kai Sheng,together wit my babes,andrea n carwyn.. we went to watch PHOBIA 2,it was nice..
interesting and somebody scared ! she requested to bath wit me and even slept wit me tat nite..
wahaha.. dun need to mention who was tat lar,tau2 saja lar.. hehe.. XD
saturday went to wacth 2012 wit anthony and KC,it was nice..
had KFC after tat..
erm,nth much to say..
look forward to go back to hometown..
will be back tis saturday,wanna meet all my old frens !!
will be missing my friends here in college and especially in hostel,get wat i mean ryte?
=)
neway,people in my hometown,my old buddies..
let's go yumcha K?
cya..
ciaoz!
Saturday, October 3, 2009
*FEELING BAD*
today i will be back to kl..
will go to KTM station around 12pm..
i feel very bad today,i dun feel like leaving home,i want to stay by my mum's side..
these two days i had been wondering how the life in my house will be after my brother and i left home-who to wash the clothes,who to hang the clothes,who to fetch my lil' bro around,who to do the house chores,who to wash the dishes after dinner,who to do this and that..
will the answer to all the WHOs is my dad?
i had been thinking much bout tis..
i want to stay by my mum's side,i rili want to.. but i have no choice.. :'(
i bet tis coming week will be my EMO week again..
*SOBSOBSOBSOBSOB*
on friday midnight(simply means saturday morning) around 3am,i fell asleep on the sofa till 5++am..
woke up and did some homework till 7am..
tidy up the things on all the tables in the dining room,clean my piano,swept the floor and mopped it..
after bathed went out to eat.. mum didnt follow coz it's inconvenient for her to move around here and there..
i felt a bit weird without her going out wit us.. :(
last nite had steamboat with relatives and friends..
my goo-goo,uncleS and cousins all came along to join the party and meanwhile,visiting my mum..
the party wasnt cancelled eventhou my mum wasnt in good condition coz tis was planned earlier and my brother said he can manage the things for the party..
i EMO almost all the time during that party,it shud be a very happy party for me but it turned to be the opposite coz i kept thinking bout leaving home today..
i felt very down and even cried in the toilet,not long-just for couple of moments coz i didnt want others to notice i sobbed..
party ended at 1am,tidied up the things.. even it was at 3.15am,i swept the floor and mopped it-hopefully i didnt disturb my family members who were all sleeping soundly..
i wanted to clean my house everyday,but i have to leave.. after we left,i wonder who is going to sweep the floor daily..
after that,i bathed and den rest till 5.45am and fell asleep in the dining room till 7am..
and now im blogging..
oni a few more hours left,my brother and me will have to leave home..
haix !
LBY,must endure ! dun cry,u can as what mum always says,try to look to the +ve side..
i will be coming back next friday regardless whether my brother wants to come back or not..
he said he wants to come back but not yet confirm whether it will be on friday or saturday..
anyway,even if he doesnt come back,im alone,i will still come back..
i will always tell myself to cheer up,to look forward..
i will try to be a +ve thinker,i will althou my mood is getting worse and worse !
mum,i will listen to u,i will try to be tougher..
LOVE YA,MUM !
will go to KTM station around 12pm..
i feel very bad today,i dun feel like leaving home,i want to stay by my mum's side..
these two days i had been wondering how the life in my house will be after my brother and i left home-who to wash the clothes,who to hang the clothes,who to fetch my lil' bro around,who to do the house chores,who to wash the dishes after dinner,who to do this and that..
will the answer to all the WHOs is my dad?
i had been thinking much bout tis..
i want to stay by my mum's side,i rili want to.. but i have no choice.. :'(
i bet tis coming week will be my EMO week again..
*SOBSOBSOBSOBSOB*
on friday midnight(simply means saturday morning) around 3am,i fell asleep on the sofa till 5++am..
woke up and did some homework till 7am..
tidy up the things on all the tables in the dining room,clean my piano,swept the floor and mopped it..
after bathed went out to eat.. mum didnt follow coz it's inconvenient for her to move around here and there..
i felt a bit weird without her going out wit us.. :(
last nite had steamboat with relatives and friends..
my goo-goo,uncleS and cousins all came along to join the party and meanwhile,visiting my mum..
the party wasnt cancelled eventhou my mum wasnt in good condition coz tis was planned earlier and my brother said he can manage the things for the party..
i EMO almost all the time during that party,it shud be a very happy party for me but it turned to be the opposite coz i kept thinking bout leaving home today..
i felt very down and even cried in the toilet,not long-just for couple of moments coz i didnt want others to notice i sobbed..
party ended at 1am,tidied up the things.. even it was at 3.15am,i swept the floor and mopped it-hopefully i didnt disturb my family members who were all sleeping soundly..
i wanted to clean my house everyday,but i have to leave.. after we left,i wonder who is going to sweep the floor daily..
after that,i bathed and den rest till 5.45am and fell asleep in the dining room till 7am..
and now im blogging..
oni a few more hours left,my brother and me will have to leave home..
haix !
LBY,must endure ! dun cry,u can as what mum always says,try to look to the +ve side..
i will be coming back next friday regardless whether my brother wants to come back or not..
he said he wants to come back but not yet confirm whether it will be on friday or saturday..
anyway,even if he doesnt come back,im alone,i will still come back..
i will always tell myself to cheer up,to look forward..
i will try to be a +ve thinker,i will althou my mood is getting worse and worse !
mum,i will listen to u,i will try to be tougher..
LOVE YA,MUM !
Friday, October 2, 2009
*IM SAD*
i still remember on last sunday,when i called back,my lil' bro answered d call saying that my mum didnt bring her hp out,was charging..
he asked me to call my elder bro,my elder bro was wit my mother-as what my lil' bro said..
so,i rang my elder bro,he told that he wasnt wit my mum..
i was like,OKIEEE...
called my mum after sometime,tis time,my dad answered d call..
i was told that my mum was at my uncle's shop,dealing wit some religious thingy..
so,later at nite about 9.30pm if not mistaken,my mum called me back..
chatted wit her,asked her why she was at my unlce's place earlier..
she told me that she needa handle those thing regarding religious but i still feel very weird.. what's d purpose of doing so.. she didnt make a clear statement there..
anyway,i didnt ask any longer..
later,chatted wit JW and i told him that i suspected that my family was hiding something from me..
they sounded kinda weird..
anyway,i didnt rili think deeper bout tat..
on wednesday night,i was sad but i told myself not to call back..
i want to be independent,i cannot rely on my mum too much.. so,i didnt want to call back and i try to endure my tears during d CG (christian gathering) held in my skul..
at last,after had dinner at TBR,walked back wit andrea and at last i expressed out my feeling coz she is d one who understands me well..
thanx andrea..
i admit that i cried,but oni for a while when i was wit her..
back to my room,and tears flooded in my eyes.. cried a lot a lot but i cheered myself..
"LBY u can,u can do it.. cheer up.. look to the brighter side.."
im happy after tat,even i cried but i still feel happy.. coz i feel that im changing,not much,but bit by bit.. still will make a difference,ryte?
i will try to be a positive thinker,try to think to the brighter side everytime i sad...
i do all these because of my mum,she told me to think positively,she encouraged me to join CG and asked me to cheer up,to live life happily..
i listened to her and im trying to change myself into a better one,just because i love her..
today im back to hometown..
just a couple hours ago,came down from d train..
my dad and my elder bro fetched me,i asked where is mum and lil' bro..
they said my lil' bro wanted to play comp game and my mum stayed at home to acc him..
so,i didnt ask any longer.. den i told JW,"hey,my dad is weird today.. i wonder why is he wearing spec.."
actually i did ask my elder bro,but he didnt listen and so,i just ignored that question..
after tat we had dinner,my dad said he bought a new van.. i asked why,he said coz d old van is old,it's time to change a new one..
i felt weird,again.. but didnt ask further..
den we were back to home..
d second i entered my house,my mum said,"hi.."
i was shocked and i replied happily,"hi.."
den i realised there was something odd-looking,i saw a wheelchair at my home..
and den i looked at my mum and asked what happen..
at tat moment,my attention was being focused on my mum's leg..
it was bandaged.. at tat point,my feeling was rather weird,i didnt noe how to explain tat kind of feeling..
i felt very sad,my heart ached.. a lot of question marks in my head,i asked her why?
she told me what happened,i got a lot more questions to ask but i cant carry on..
i just gave her a forced smile and i went in to my room,my tears rolled down..
i just didnt noe why all these happened to her,why didnt it happen to me?
i always willing to suffer all these as long as they did not happen on my family members..
after tat i went out again and continued to chat wit her and not longer than 2 minutes,i left d conversation again and i cried even worse.. my elder bro noticed and he told my lil' bro tat they won coz they bet tat i will sure cry when i back..
i cried non-stop,during bathing,after bathing,when combing hair,when i unpacked my things,when i wrote tis blog..
my family members and JW cheered me up..
JW even acc me till now,1am..
thanx to them..
d accident happened on sunday and tat was d day i felt something very weird wit my family members..
at the place where d accident happened and at tat particular moment when my mum's leg was free from being sandwiched by the car,she told my elder brother not to let me noe bout tis..
she didnt want me to noe coz she noes tat i will sure cry and will worry a lot..
she doesnt want me to feel upset and that was the reason i didnt noe tis accident until i back to my home..
i rili couldnt take all these,why did it happen to my mum?
i dont want it to be so,i want it to happen on any other people or even on me,not my family members..
im willing to take all these as long as my family members are happy and safe..
i just like d feeling now,i feel so bad..
my mum has to rest a month at home and so my dad coz they are working together..
my dad suffered from minor injuries,and tis is d reason he was wearing a spec when he fetched me coz one of his eyes was swollen and i didnt notice tat ! URGHH !! how silly i am !
i feel sorie to them,i just dun noe why i feel like tat..
i rili cant take tat,i feel very bad..
tis is d saddest time among all the times i back to hometown..
=(
:'(
i hope my mum will recover soon,i rili hope so..
no matter how bad God wants to treat me,i dont mind as long as my mum is safe and always healthy and happy..
same to my other family members including my grandfather and my uncles..
i rili pray hard so tat my mum will recover soon,im sad to see her in such a condition..
everytime i look at her,or even i think of her,my eyes will be filled wit tears..
i just dun noe how to make myself tougher..
but i will try to be strong..
i will,as what my mum told me earlier..
i will try to change myself,I WILL TRY..
I LOVE YOU,MUMMY !
he asked me to call my elder bro,my elder bro was wit my mother-as what my lil' bro said..
so,i rang my elder bro,he told that he wasnt wit my mum..
i was like,OKIEEE...
called my mum after sometime,tis time,my dad answered d call..
i was told that my mum was at my uncle's shop,dealing wit some religious thingy..
so,later at nite about 9.30pm if not mistaken,my mum called me back..
chatted wit her,asked her why she was at my unlce's place earlier..
she told me that she needa handle those thing regarding religious but i still feel very weird.. what's d purpose of doing so.. she didnt make a clear statement there..
anyway,i didnt ask any longer..
later,chatted wit JW and i told him that i suspected that my family was hiding something from me..
they sounded kinda weird..
anyway,i didnt rili think deeper bout tat..
on wednesday night,i was sad but i told myself not to call back..
i want to be independent,i cannot rely on my mum too much.. so,i didnt want to call back and i try to endure my tears during d CG (christian gathering) held in my skul..
at last,after had dinner at TBR,walked back wit andrea and at last i expressed out my feeling coz she is d one who understands me well..
thanx andrea..
i admit that i cried,but oni for a while when i was wit her..
back to my room,and tears flooded in my eyes.. cried a lot a lot but i cheered myself..
"LBY u can,u can do it.. cheer up.. look to the brighter side.."
im happy after tat,even i cried but i still feel happy.. coz i feel that im changing,not much,but bit by bit.. still will make a difference,ryte?
i will try to be a positive thinker,try to think to the brighter side everytime i sad...
i do all these because of my mum,she told me to think positively,she encouraged me to join CG and asked me to cheer up,to live life happily..
i listened to her and im trying to change myself into a better one,just because i love her..
today im back to hometown..
just a couple hours ago,came down from d train..
my dad and my elder bro fetched me,i asked where is mum and lil' bro..
they said my lil' bro wanted to play comp game and my mum stayed at home to acc him..
so,i didnt ask any longer.. den i told JW,"hey,my dad is weird today.. i wonder why is he wearing spec.."
actually i did ask my elder bro,but he didnt listen and so,i just ignored that question..
after tat we had dinner,my dad said he bought a new van.. i asked why,he said coz d old van is old,it's time to change a new one..
i felt weird,again.. but didnt ask further..
den we were back to home..
d second i entered my house,my mum said,"hi.."
i was shocked and i replied happily,"hi.."
den i realised there was something odd-looking,i saw a wheelchair at my home..
and den i looked at my mum and asked what happen..
at tat moment,my attention was being focused on my mum's leg..
it was bandaged.. at tat point,my feeling was rather weird,i didnt noe how to explain tat kind of feeling..
i felt very sad,my heart ached.. a lot of question marks in my head,i asked her why?
she told me what happened,i got a lot more questions to ask but i cant carry on..
i just gave her a forced smile and i went in to my room,my tears rolled down..
i just didnt noe why all these happened to her,why didnt it happen to me?
i always willing to suffer all these as long as they did not happen on my family members..
after tat i went out again and continued to chat wit her and not longer than 2 minutes,i left d conversation again and i cried even worse.. my elder bro noticed and he told my lil' bro tat they won coz they bet tat i will sure cry when i back..
i cried non-stop,during bathing,after bathing,when combing hair,when i unpacked my things,when i wrote tis blog..
my family members and JW cheered me up..
JW even acc me till now,1am..
thanx to them..
d accident happened on sunday and tat was d day i felt something very weird wit my family members..
at the place where d accident happened and at tat particular moment when my mum's leg was free from being sandwiched by the car,she told my elder brother not to let me noe bout tis..
she didnt want me to noe coz she noes tat i will sure cry and will worry a lot..
she doesnt want me to feel upset and that was the reason i didnt noe tis accident until i back to my home..
i rili couldnt take all these,why did it happen to my mum?
i dont want it to be so,i want it to happen on any other people or even on me,not my family members..
im willing to take all these as long as my family members are happy and safe..
i just like d feeling now,i feel so bad..
my mum has to rest a month at home and so my dad coz they are working together..
my dad suffered from minor injuries,and tis is d reason he was wearing a spec when he fetched me coz one of his eyes was swollen and i didnt notice tat ! URGHH !! how silly i am !
i feel sorie to them,i just dun noe why i feel like tat..
i rili cant take tat,i feel very bad..
tis is d saddest time among all the times i back to hometown..
=(
:'(
i hope my mum will recover soon,i rili hope so..
no matter how bad God wants to treat me,i dont mind as long as my mum is safe and always healthy and happy..
same to my other family members including my grandfather and my uncles..
i rili pray hard so tat my mum will recover soon,im sad to see her in such a condition..
everytime i look at her,or even i think of her,my eyes will be filled wit tears..
i just dun noe how to make myself tougher..
but i will try to be strong..
i will,as what my mum told me earlier..
i will try to change myself,I WILL TRY..
I LOVE YOU,MUMMY !
Friday, September 25, 2009
*HATE TAT FEELING*
yesterday wasnt a good day for me..
d day b4 yest,i cried for quite some time,till my eyes swollen..
monday[yesterday] went to skul and carwyn asked me twice,"are u sick?"
nope,im not,dun worry,babe..
sunday evening i was in d hostel,alone..
till night time,i called my mum n cried..
she knew i cried,even b4 i called her,my grandpa called me and he suspected something wit me..
my voice was a bit sexy after all,and tat's d reason he suspected something in me..
haha..
chatted wit mum for an hour n den chatted 2 hours wit JW,he too,knew i cried..
he said he can listen to d difference in my voice..
sorie everybody,especially to mum,and not to forget,suet kee n JW too,who cheer me up everytime im unhappy..
i fell asleep during chem class yesterday,and teacher noticed tat.. =P
PAISEHHH...
last night i cried also,but as much as sunday night..
i called my mum,chatted one hour,chatted wit JW one and half an hour..
i feel much more better today..
later will go out n have dinner wit frens,i will feel better if go out..
i HATE d feeling of being alone,i HATE it freaking much..
i will EMO d whole day long if im alone...
i just couldnt control my tears,well,im a cry baby as eric said..
i admit im a cry baby..
im weak,as my undearest class rep said,i admit too..
thanx to everyone who cares for me..
thanx mum,i love u..
will be back to hometown next friday for mooncake celebration..
back wit JW,he will meet me at KL SENTRAL and we we will be going back together to BG..
he will be spending 2 days at my hometown,just a short visit,and will be staying at my house..
wit my brother i suppose(if his gf is not there lar.. haha..)
looking forward for happy days !
ciaoz !
d day b4 yest,i cried for quite some time,till my eyes swollen..
monday[yesterday] went to skul and carwyn asked me twice,"are u sick?"
nope,im not,dun worry,babe..
sunday evening i was in d hostel,alone..
till night time,i called my mum n cried..
she knew i cried,even b4 i called her,my grandpa called me and he suspected something wit me..
my voice was a bit sexy after all,and tat's d reason he suspected something in me..
haha..
chatted wit mum for an hour n den chatted 2 hours wit JW,he too,knew i cried..
he said he can listen to d difference in my voice..
sorie everybody,especially to mum,and not to forget,suet kee n JW too,who cheer me up everytime im unhappy..
i fell asleep during chem class yesterday,and teacher noticed tat.. =P
PAISEHHH...
last night i cried also,but as much as sunday night..
i called my mum,chatted one hour,chatted wit JW one and half an hour..
i feel much more better today..
later will go out n have dinner wit frens,i will feel better if go out..
i HATE d feeling of being alone,i HATE it freaking much..
i will EMO d whole day long if im alone...
i just couldnt control my tears,well,im a cry baby as eric said..
i admit im a cry baby..
im weak,as my undearest class rep said,i admit too..
thanx to everyone who cares for me..
thanx mum,i love u..
will be back to hometown next friday for mooncake celebration..
back wit JW,he will meet me at KL SENTRAL and we we will be going back together to BG..
he will be spending 2 days at my hometown,just a short visit,and will be staying at my house..
wit my brother i suppose(if his gf is not there lar.. haha..)
looking forward for happy days !
ciaoz !
Monday, September 21, 2009
*SAD*
i will have to go back to KL tomoro since thursday skul reopens..
SIGH !
im sure i will cry..
mum n dad asked me and advised me a lot these few days..
dun worry dad,im okiee.. :)
met him yest,he came to my house..
d feeling was ***,i dun noe how to explain..
looking forward for next friday coz i will be back again wit JW as he is going to visit my hometown..
haha..
marcus,gan,JW,my bro n me will back to KL together on d following sunday...
going to play badminton now wit eric,victor,marcus,KC,yee theng,phin,her brother,ah lian n ETC..
kinda a lot huh?
anyway,enjoy d day..
ADIOUS !
=)
SIGH !
im sure i will cry..
mum n dad asked me and advised me a lot these few days..
dun worry dad,im okiee.. :)
met him yest,he came to my house..
d feeling was ***,i dun noe how to explain..
looking forward for next friday coz i will be back again wit JW as he is going to visit my hometown..
haha..
marcus,gan,JW,my bro n me will back to KL together on d following sunday...
going to play badminton now wit eric,victor,marcus,KC,yee theng,phin,her brother,ah lian n ETC..
kinda a lot huh?
anyway,enjoy d day..
ADIOUS !
=)
Saturday, September 19, 2009
*EXAM ENDED=TIME TO HANG OUT*
whoohooo..
finally it comes to an end after a torturous exam week !
yesterday was d last paper,which is also d toughest paper after all,i mean for me..
CHEMISTRY paper tat i dreaded d most..
utterly stressed up wit tis subject,i couldnt rili understand wat teacher taught and apparently i cant cope wit it..
anyway,already tried my best and watever d result is,just enjoy d time being..
i cried a lot during d exam week and rili had many sleepless nights..
thanx to JW for cheering me up every night since i were wit almost all d nights..
thanx for the drinks u made for me,d food u prepared for me coz u knew i was sitting for exam..
thanx for ur room oso ah,wahaha..
hopefully both of our results will not be as bad as our expectations ! cheerioo.. =)
yesterday after exam,carwyn,andrea,wen fu n me went out to celebrate for d end of our exam..
we went to times square + sg wang..
wen fu drove us there n we were stucked in d traffic for such a long time..
arghhh !!
reached sg wang n walked around,den went to KIM GARY and had our dinner..
we chatted there for bout 2 hours,and rili had a HAPPY n CRAZY crap !!
guess wat we chatted bout?? wahaha... something disgusting,yet pretty interesting.. XD
d time we went back was around 10.30pm,wen fu sent 3 of us to d monorel station n we took d monorel followed by lrt till we reached wangsa maju at about 11.30pm..
during d time we were in LRT,we chatted a lot a lot..
yeah,friends are always d best !
love u guys !! =)
anyway,now im back to hometown..
my dear friends,come out n yumcha K??
cya..
finally it comes to an end after a torturous exam week !
yesterday was d last paper,which is also d toughest paper after all,i mean for me..
CHEMISTRY paper tat i dreaded d most..
utterly stressed up wit tis subject,i couldnt rili understand wat teacher taught and apparently i cant cope wit it..
anyway,already tried my best and watever d result is,just enjoy d time being..
i cried a lot during d exam week and rili had many sleepless nights..
thanx to JW for cheering me up every night since i were wit almost all d nights..
thanx for the drinks u made for me,d food u prepared for me coz u knew i was sitting for exam..
thanx for ur room oso ah,wahaha..
hopefully both of our results will not be as bad as our expectations ! cheerioo.. =)
yesterday after exam,carwyn,andrea,wen fu n me went out to celebrate for d end of our exam..
we went to times square + sg wang..
wen fu drove us there n we were stucked in d traffic for such a long time..
arghhh !!
reached sg wang n walked around,den went to KIM GARY and had our dinner..
we chatted there for bout 2 hours,and rili had a HAPPY n CRAZY crap !!
guess wat we chatted bout?? wahaha... something disgusting,yet pretty interesting.. XD
d time we went back was around 10.30pm,wen fu sent 3 of us to d monorel station n we took d monorel followed by lrt till we reached wangsa maju at about 11.30pm..
during d time we were in LRT,we chatted a lot a lot..
yeah,friends are always d best !
love u guys !! =)
anyway,now im back to hometown..
my dear friends,come out n yumcha K??
cya..
Friday, August 28, 2009
*FOR HIM*
tis post is written purposely for him..
if u read tis,im sure u can feel tat tis post is written purposely for u..
i hope u read tis,these are wat i want to say to u..
sorie,i noe i made u sad..
i noe u r very sad right now,or mayb it will last for quite some time..
i do not feel any better..
just now someone asked me bout u,n he told me something regarding u..
so,i just wanna advice u not to be too sad over sth tat had happened..
i noe my post wont cheer u up any further,but at least i did sth tat i wanted to do..
sorie for being so rude,sorie for making u sad..
it was a small matter,i noe..
but i couldnt take it,i just couldnt face tis kind of situation once again after being hurted..
SORRY !
if u read tis,im sure u can feel tat tis post is written purposely for u..
i hope u read tis,these are wat i want to say to u..
sorie,i noe i made u sad..
i noe u r very sad right now,or mayb it will last for quite some time..
i do not feel any better..
just now someone asked me bout u,n he told me something regarding u..
so,i just wanna advice u not to be too sad over sth tat had happened..
i noe my post wont cheer u up any further,but at least i did sth tat i wanted to do..
sorie for being so rude,sorie for making u sad..
it was a small matter,i noe..
but i couldnt take it,i just couldnt face tis kind of situation once again after being hurted..
SORRY !
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
*HAPPY BIRTHDAY*
To : My Dearest Daddy !
Happy Fifty-Fourth Birthday !
His birthday falls on today,which is 27th of August !
An early wish for my dearest elder brother as well..
His birthday is supposed to be on 28th of August,which is supposed to be tomoro(a day later than dad)..
Wat a coincidence !
Haha..
To : My Dearest Brother !
Happy Twentieth Birthday !
Wish tat all ur dreams come true !
All d best for tomoro n for ur coming exam !
God Bless !
Love both of u very much,Dad n Brother !
=)
Happy Fifty-Fourth Birthday !
His birthday falls on today,which is 27th of August !
An early wish for my dearest elder brother as well..
His birthday is supposed to be on 28th of August,which is supposed to be tomoro(a day later than dad)..
Wat a coincidence !
Haha..
To : My Dearest Brother !
Happy Twentieth Birthday !
Wish tat all ur dreams come true !
All d best for tomoro n for ur coming exam !
God Bless !
Love both of u very much,Dad n Brother !
=)
*FEELINGLESS*
clock is showing 3am sharp..
d same time yesterday,i had a cold fight wit him..
not to say a fight,but not a peaceful conversation i suppose..
i guess u guys noe who is d one i had tis unpeaceful conversation wit..
yeah,was him.. d one mentioned in my previous blog..
today i went to kampar n he went there as well..
met me there but i was cool towards him,i realised tat..
last night had a terrible conversation wit him.. for me,i will consider as terrible coz i didnt rili like d way we chatted especially at d last part..
he did not answer my question n in fact,gave me a reason tat he is tired,wanted to sleep..
was so pissed off !
tis morning he asked me why was i angry last night,i told him n can say i expressed it in anger d reason why i was so pissed off !
i seldom answered ppl's question in such a rude or full-of-anger way,especially a guy..
he apologised to me many times..
i do not want any sorry from u,ENOUGH !
even u repeat it hundred times,thousand times,million times,it's still d same..
something happened is happened.. no one can change it unless time can go backwards..
u asked for a chance to hang out wit me in d future and we can still be as happy as last time..
do u think it's possible? perhaps ya,but mayb tat's u.. but definitely i cant..
i will still feel the barrier in between,we can hang out if im free n if i got the mood to go out..
we can still be friend,but not best friend as u requested.. and not even further than tat..
i do not noe how to face u,tis morning i kept asking u to go home..
i kept telling u tat i got nth else to chat wit u..
i became so speechless when facing u.. rili got nth else to say..
NOTHING ! my mind blank..
so sorry,didnt mean to be so cool to u.. but i just cant give any more smiles,cant have more more conversations wit u.. im just wordless when see u..
it has changed,we are not tat close anymore..
can u feel d BARRIER in between? i can feel it,it's so obvious..
1st scar was left by my EX,who hurted me really deep enuf to psycho me..
2nd scar was left by u..
i cannot stand a 3rd scar anymore.. i consider myself very "dao mei",being hurted again n again..
u aint hurting me,but i had d feel of being hurted..
seriously,u aint wrong,stop blaming urself..
i forgave u,but even i forgave u,things already happened..
so,do not regret anymore,wat u did were correct..
it's just me tat could not take it,i do not like my msg to be read by a third party..
i just couldnt take all these..
d prob was wit me,not u.. stop apologising,stop blaming urself..
until now,i still feel so disappointed !
due to d things tat happened these few days,i will not let myself fall for anyone else for some time..
yesterday JW called me,i told him i wont give any answer to him..
he did not angry,neither do he feels disappointed.. in fact,he even cheered me up n asked me to make dright decision..
he advised me not to make decision so fast,my journey is still very long,im just 8-teen.. choose slowly,do not ever choose d wrong one..
thx,JW ! :)
i do not want to involve myself in any love thingy for some time due to the recent prob..
it rili made me feelingless,was so disappointed wit everything tat had occured..
love? it's nothing for me now..
LOVE sounds nice,but in fact it is HURTFUL !
officially,i would like to announce tat im FEELINGLESS now n tat will last for some time..
i do not noe when will myself have feeling towards someone again..
i will try hard not to let my heart touched by someone..
live a simple life from now onwards till i meet someone tat really can lead my life thru until d very last beat of my heart..
enjoy d life of being liked by someone but not to LIKE someone..
hopefully God will strenghten my soul,lighten up my spirit..
i just want a SIMPLE LIFE..
it's such a long time since last i experienced such a frustrating situation..
d disappointment tis time left a great impact on me emotionally..
i still need quite some time to be happy again !
no mood dy,ciaoZ !
p/s : i hate ppl tat did not answer my question n straight away tell me tat he/she or tired n wanna sleep ! so irresponsible !
d same time yesterday,i had a cold fight wit him..
not to say a fight,but not a peaceful conversation i suppose..
i guess u guys noe who is d one i had tis unpeaceful conversation wit..
yeah,was him.. d one mentioned in my previous blog..
today i went to kampar n he went there as well..
met me there but i was cool towards him,i realised tat..
last night had a terrible conversation wit him.. for me,i will consider as terrible coz i didnt rili like d way we chatted especially at d last part..
he did not answer my question n in fact,gave me a reason tat he is tired,wanted to sleep..
was so pissed off !
tis morning he asked me why was i angry last night,i told him n can say i expressed it in anger d reason why i was so pissed off !
i seldom answered ppl's question in such a rude or full-of-anger way,especially a guy..
he apologised to me many times..
i do not want any sorry from u,ENOUGH !
even u repeat it hundred times,thousand times,million times,it's still d same..
something happened is happened.. no one can change it unless time can go backwards..
u asked for a chance to hang out wit me in d future and we can still be as happy as last time..
do u think it's possible? perhaps ya,but mayb tat's u.. but definitely i cant..
i will still feel the barrier in between,we can hang out if im free n if i got the mood to go out..
we can still be friend,but not best friend as u requested.. and not even further than tat..
i do not noe how to face u,tis morning i kept asking u to go home..
i kept telling u tat i got nth else to chat wit u..
i became so speechless when facing u.. rili got nth else to say..
NOTHING ! my mind blank..
so sorry,didnt mean to be so cool to u.. but i just cant give any more smiles,cant have more more conversations wit u.. im just wordless when see u..
it has changed,we are not tat close anymore..
can u feel d BARRIER in between? i can feel it,it's so obvious..
1st scar was left by my EX,who hurted me really deep enuf to psycho me..
2nd scar was left by u..
i cannot stand a 3rd scar anymore.. i consider myself very "dao mei",being hurted again n again..
u aint hurting me,but i had d feel of being hurted..
seriously,u aint wrong,stop blaming urself..
i forgave u,but even i forgave u,things already happened..
so,do not regret anymore,wat u did were correct..
it's just me tat could not take it,i do not like my msg to be read by a third party..
i just couldnt take all these..
d prob was wit me,not u.. stop apologising,stop blaming urself..
until now,i still feel so disappointed !
due to d things tat happened these few days,i will not let myself fall for anyone else for some time..
yesterday JW called me,i told him i wont give any answer to him..
he did not angry,neither do he feels disappointed.. in fact,he even cheered me up n asked me to make dright decision..
he advised me not to make decision so fast,my journey is still very long,im just 8-teen.. choose slowly,do not ever choose d wrong one..
thx,JW ! :)
i do not want to involve myself in any love thingy for some time due to the recent prob..
it rili made me feelingless,was so disappointed wit everything tat had occured..
love? it's nothing for me now..
LOVE sounds nice,but in fact it is HURTFUL !
officially,i would like to announce tat im FEELINGLESS now n tat will last for some time..
i do not noe when will myself have feeling towards someone again..
i will try hard not to let my heart touched by someone..
live a simple life from now onwards till i meet someone tat really can lead my life thru until d very last beat of my heart..
enjoy d life of being liked by someone but not to LIKE someone..
hopefully God will strenghten my soul,lighten up my spirit..
i just want a SIMPLE LIFE..
it's such a long time since last i experienced such a frustrating situation..
d disappointment tis time left a great impact on me emotionally..
i still need quite some time to be happy again !
no mood dy,ciaoZ !
p/s : i hate ppl tat did not answer my question n straight away tell me tat he/she or tired n wanna sleep ! so irresponsible !
Monday, August 24, 2009
*DISAPPOINTED*
DISAPPOINTED
tat's d oni word i have in mind now..
it's just TIME tat heal my heart !
everything started nicely,i chatted happily wit phin..
sharing my happiness,my love story wit her.. at d same time sms-ing wit him..
a msg came,tat was d msg i sent to him.. at d very last part of d msg was written there, "she sent me tis"
my heart was like stop beating,wondering wat is going on.. again,im cheated? but i noe,he is not tat kind of ppl.. so,wat's he trying to do? arghhh !!!!!!!!
im freaking frustrated frustrated frustrated
why now? why why why ??!!!!
i rili enjoyed d happy times wit him,rili rili enjoyed n treasured it very much..
why must it happen when i started to fall for him? why dont it happen earlier ??!
i asked him wat's going on,i said i want an answer of honesty ! he admitted he forwarded d msg to another person..
i asked WHY ?
he wanted d best,d most perfect answer for my question,so he asked his fren wat shud he writes by forwarding my msg to him.. tat was his reason..
for me,messages are much much more private than photos or any other stuffs..
now d msg is seen by his fren,where's d privacy between us?
i even asked him.. Are d messages tat he is sending to me now are all from his friends? All tis while since we noe each other till today,are all d messages from me,he send to his friends?
Are u the person who love me all tis while? or is it just another person?
why u want to do so? why? WHY??
i just want the best answer for u.. i do not noe wat to write,so i decided to ask my best friend..
i fear tat i will lose u once more,i do not want tis to happen again since i lost u once..
now u have some good feel to me,i want to grab tis opportunity to hold u tight,i do not want to lose u..
i noe im selfish,pls forgive me.. but if u stand at my side,u will understand why i do so..
i did not mean to hurt u,to disappoint u.. im just loving u too much,it's true..
im telling tis from deep inside my heart,i rili feel very happy being together wit u..
it's not any other ppl tat loves u,it's me,sincerely from my heart,i rili love u deeply.. no one can replace tis..
im too afraid of losing u,and tis makes me do all these silly things..
tis was d 1st time i forward ur msg to him coz now i got a second chance n i do not want to lose u..
so,i have to find d most perfect answer so tat i will not lose u,and tat's y i did tis..
today i did a lot of things tat i shudnt have do..
i once tried to forget u by not finding u.. but i found out tat i cant,i will still secretly go n read ur blog.. no doubt,i rili sick of u.. from the very 1st until now,i still loving u dearly,im serious.. i did not cheat ur feeling,did not cheat u any single thing.. i hope i will still have a chance,i dont afford to lose u..
pls forgive me for my selfishness..
tat's the things he told me.. i combine them into d whole passage..
now oni i found out why in d previous month,u r so cold to me tat i did not receive even a single msg from u.. as in my few previous post,i did mention tat our relationship became sour..
now i noe why,u r trying to forget me,trying not to find me..
sorie,i misunderstood u.. sorry !
anyway,i rili felt a very big disappointment..
d feeling of being hurted like b4(the time i psycho) came again..
i noe d reason u are doing tis,mayb u rili love me too much tat u mind a lot of every single thing u need to send to me..
wat i want is something tat u type urself,every single genuine thing from ur pure heart,ur pure mind..
even u might not be able to express it as perfect as ur fren,but tat will be the most genuine from u..
tat is all i want,i do not want any msg from ur fren's mind..
i want it from u,ur pure mind.. ur way of expressing it..
everything has happened,no way u can change it..
i will not forgive u since u did not do anything wrong..
i try to put myself in ur shoes n i understand why u do so..
wat i want to say is,i rili enjoyed d time being wit u..
i never feel tat perfect b4,even wit the one i love d most previously(my EX tat hurted me the deepest)..
thanx a lot to u for ur everything,i do cherish..
take note tat a scar will be there forever once u fall down..
the scar will remind u of everything tat had take place..
u want us to be like last time,i hope can..
i dont know it is a CAN or a CANNOT.. i do not know !
wat i noe is tat a scar will be there in my heart forever..
i rili felt like being cheated,im so disappointed..
d feeling is just like my heart being stabbed by a sharp knife which is able to pierce my heart into pieces..
and d most unexpected is tat the person who uses d knife to stab at me is the one i fall for,d one i have had a nice time with..
u can imagine how frust im ryte?
seriously,i need some time to heal myself..
mayb we still can attain our previous relationship,like how close we were previously..
but tat takes TIME !
it's oni TIME tat can give u an answer whether we can be as good as last time..
now a big disappointment in my heart,im speechless..
from a happy bao yee,keep talking n crapping wit her friend,smiling n laughing all d way thru..
one message is enough to turn her into a quiet girl.. no more laughter heard,oni tears are seen rolling down.. not much,but can be seen..
i feel like crying very much,but no tears.. perhaps my heart is crying deep inside..
i got no idea..
im so LOST !
nothing to comment anymore,nothing else to write,nothing else to be pondered about..
have a good rest !
tat's d oni word i have in mind now..
it's just TIME tat heal my heart !
everything started nicely,i chatted happily wit phin..
sharing my happiness,my love story wit her.. at d same time sms-ing wit him..
a msg came,tat was d msg i sent to him.. at d very last part of d msg was written there, "she sent me tis"
my heart was like stop beating,wondering wat is going on.. again,im cheated? but i noe,he is not tat kind of ppl.. so,wat's he trying to do? arghhh !!!!!!!!
im freaking frustrated frustrated frustrated
why now? why why why ??!!!!
i rili enjoyed d happy times wit him,rili rili enjoyed n treasured it very much..
why must it happen when i started to fall for him? why dont it happen earlier ??!
i asked him wat's going on,i said i want an answer of honesty ! he admitted he forwarded d msg to another person..
i asked WHY ?
he wanted d best,d most perfect answer for my question,so he asked his fren wat shud he writes by forwarding my msg to him.. tat was his reason..
for me,messages are much much more private than photos or any other stuffs..
now d msg is seen by his fren,where's d privacy between us?
i even asked him.. Are d messages tat he is sending to me now are all from his friends? All tis while since we noe each other till today,are all d messages from me,he send to his friends?
Are u the person who love me all tis while? or is it just another person?
why u want to do so? why? WHY??
i just want the best answer for u.. i do not noe wat to write,so i decided to ask my best friend..
i fear tat i will lose u once more,i do not want tis to happen again since i lost u once..
now u have some good feel to me,i want to grab tis opportunity to hold u tight,i do not want to lose u..
i noe im selfish,pls forgive me.. but if u stand at my side,u will understand why i do so..
i did not mean to hurt u,to disappoint u.. im just loving u too much,it's true..
im telling tis from deep inside my heart,i rili feel very happy being together wit u..
it's not any other ppl tat loves u,it's me,sincerely from my heart,i rili love u deeply.. no one can replace tis..
im too afraid of losing u,and tis makes me do all these silly things..
tis was d 1st time i forward ur msg to him coz now i got a second chance n i do not want to lose u..
so,i have to find d most perfect answer so tat i will not lose u,and tat's y i did tis..
today i did a lot of things tat i shudnt have do..
i once tried to forget u by not finding u.. but i found out tat i cant,i will still secretly go n read ur blog.. no doubt,i rili sick of u.. from the very 1st until now,i still loving u dearly,im serious.. i did not cheat ur feeling,did not cheat u any single thing.. i hope i will still have a chance,i dont afford to lose u..
pls forgive me for my selfishness..
tat's the things he told me.. i combine them into d whole passage..
now oni i found out why in d previous month,u r so cold to me tat i did not receive even a single msg from u.. as in my few previous post,i did mention tat our relationship became sour..
now i noe why,u r trying to forget me,trying not to find me..
sorie,i misunderstood u.. sorry !
anyway,i rili felt a very big disappointment..
d feeling of being hurted like b4(the time i psycho) came again..
i noe d reason u are doing tis,mayb u rili love me too much tat u mind a lot of every single thing u need to send to me..
wat i want is something tat u type urself,every single genuine thing from ur pure heart,ur pure mind..
even u might not be able to express it as perfect as ur fren,but tat will be the most genuine from u..
tat is all i want,i do not want any msg from ur fren's mind..
i want it from u,ur pure mind.. ur way of expressing it..
everything has happened,no way u can change it..
i will not forgive u since u did not do anything wrong..
i try to put myself in ur shoes n i understand why u do so..
wat i want to say is,i rili enjoyed d time being wit u..
i never feel tat perfect b4,even wit the one i love d most previously(my EX tat hurted me the deepest)..
thanx a lot to u for ur everything,i do cherish..
take note tat a scar will be there forever once u fall down..
the scar will remind u of everything tat had take place..
u want us to be like last time,i hope can..
i dont know it is a CAN or a CANNOT.. i do not know !
wat i noe is tat a scar will be there in my heart forever..
i rili felt like being cheated,im so disappointed..
d feeling is just like my heart being stabbed by a sharp knife which is able to pierce my heart into pieces..
and d most unexpected is tat the person who uses d knife to stab at me is the one i fall for,d one i have had a nice time with..
u can imagine how frust im ryte?
seriously,i need some time to heal myself..
mayb we still can attain our previous relationship,like how close we were previously..
but tat takes TIME !
it's oni TIME tat can give u an answer whether we can be as good as last time..
now a big disappointment in my heart,im speechless..
from a happy bao yee,keep talking n crapping wit her friend,smiling n laughing all d way thru..
one message is enough to turn her into a quiet girl.. no more laughter heard,oni tears are seen rolling down.. not much,but can be seen..
i feel like crying very much,but no tears.. perhaps my heart is crying deep inside..
i got no idea..
im so LOST !
nothing to comment anymore,nothing else to write,nothing else to be pondered about..
have a good rest !
Sunday, August 23, 2009
*WHAT TO DO?*
now is 2.10am.. wat i shud be doing now is studying..
but i cant rili concentrate..1st reason,im sleepy.. 2nd reason,i got something not clear in my head.. 3rd,i think i need to express something out in order to make myself feel better..
i need a shoulder ! seriously !
haix.. im so lost right now,im in nowhere,no direction,no guidance !
wat shud i do??
today rili had a happy time wit ka lai,we went out at 10.30am n back at 3.30pm..
he reached my house at 10.30am n fetched me out..
we went to green house to have our breakfast,den we decided to find chia..
went to his home but he wasnt there.. so,called him n he couldnt recognise me..
funny lar,dude.. u dare to say u couldnt recognise my voice !
ok,fine.. i asked him to wait n see who m i when we meet after tat..
den we went to temple n meet them there since today got a festival,but i dun noe wat is d festival called.. haha..
he was a bit surprised when he saw two of us ( ka lai n me )..
it's like something tat will never happen,i once rejected him but now i was with him d whole day long.. oni n d oni two of us..
three of us sat in d temple wit two other boys n two other girls n crapped lots..
after d event ended,ka lai n me went back to d car n drove off whereas chia followed d others..
we went to pusing coz he requested me to show him where is my uncle's shop n where's d hall i used to play badminton at..
we chatted happily today.. it was a bit unexpected coz we would expect tat we will be speechless when we meet each other.. but it turned out another way round.. in fact we got a lot of stuffs to be chatted bout..
he sent me back at 3.30pm.. i borrowed some piano lyrics from him n will return back to him b4 i back to KL..
once reached home,i started to ponder bout my whole day wit him..
last time when he proposed to me,couldnt deny tat i got lil' bit of feel wit him but still,i rejected..
today,he fetched me around,d solid 5 hours,i felt so secure being wit him..
i think i fell for him,but i wont do anything further since i noe it will not end perfectly..
honestly speaking,i felt very very happy today..
somehow when i pondered back,i think i shud have accept tis guy earlier..
he might bring me happiness..
anyway,decision made is decision made.. no way to change it,ryte?
haha..
i wont regret wat i did..
just now JW called me,told me how's my bro who is sick now..
i kinda worry bout my brother.. he is sick..
but since got ppl taking care of him,i feel better..
den JW told me bout d thing tat he shud say,i suppose..
so,he told me a lot of things.. we chatted for 3 hours thru d phone..
i can hear his voice changing,i noe he cried,he denied it..
boys cry is normal,girls are human,boys are human as well.. human has feeling,he/she cries is normal..
tat was d 1st time he cried for something silly,called LOVE..
i know him quite well,i noe wat kind of person he is..
my brother did tell me how tis person's personality is..
i can see he is a very good guy,he is obviously kind towards me..
he is very diligent,his result is a nice one..
no doubt he has a very mature mind,every single thing he does is based on a very properly decided decision..
he proposed to me n asked me whether i will give him a chance..
i gave him an answer of UNDEFINED.. *tut tut tut* --MATH ERROR--
haha..
i did not give him a YES or a NO coz i think neither one will leave a positive effect..
his exam is just around d corner,two more weeks to go.. i just did not want to influence him..
d purpose of him telling me all these is because he could not concentrate on his studies till he cleared his mind..
he just want to express d thing in his mind,d thing tat he isnt clear of.. he wants an answer from me,whether a good one or a bad one,he will accept it..
if i say YES,he will be happy..
if it's a NO,he will accept it n perhaps will sad few days n will be ok after tat..
i told him tat it's not easy to heal urself.. i was a victim b4,i understand tis very well enuf..
i noe d feeling of missing someone,it was terrible..
d feeling was sour enuf to keep me psycho for half a year,cry everyday for half a year,survive without food for 3 days,slept few hours for whole week and even hide in room every day n night.. so,i told him tat i will not give him an exact answer till his exam ends..
i already have an answer in mind..
i even told him if my answer is a NO,i will avoid myself from him..
d reason is simple,to let him forget bout me,or at least to not remind him of me..
coz i rili understand tis pretty thorough..
last time when i broke up wit my EX,i tot i can rili forget him..
i was totally wrong.. ya,i can forget him when i dun get to see him..
but d moment i saw him again,tears kept filling up my eyes,rolling down my cheek..
my heart was like being pierced,point by point.. it ached,d feeling was unendurable ! it made me pretty sick ! and tat can last for dayS !
so,i hope u will understand by then,why i purposely avoid u.. for ur sake !
by then,we will no more be close friends..
we will not be chatting for hours under H Block..
u do not have to accompany me back to my block..
we will not be sitting together at the same table having meal..
we will not be playing badminton together..
i will avoid u every monday in DK..
so,take care !
anyway,if im going to say NO,i will go n find u,tell u face-to-face as i promised..
and i will let u noe tat i will avoid u for some time..
i hope u understand me..
letting u seeing me is just like firing u,right into ur heart.. it aches,i understand ! u will suffer,i noe it's a cruel decision..
but tis is d way to make u forget me,even not completely,but at least partially..
he asked me whether do i have any good feeling towards him..
to be frank,i did love u b4.. i had a crushed on u b4.. but tat was b4..
by the time u told me u love me,it was all too late.. i did not have d feeling on u anymore..
im sorie to say tat..
i hope u will be happier..
if can,i want us to be best friends again..
i do not want to avoid u,if can..
cheer up,dude !
all d best for his exams n smile ( tat's wat u always say to me )..
post ended,ciaoz!
but i cant rili concentrate..1st reason,im sleepy.. 2nd reason,i got something not clear in my head.. 3rd,i think i need to express something out in order to make myself feel better..
i need a shoulder ! seriously !
haix.. im so lost right now,im in nowhere,no direction,no guidance !
wat shud i do??
today rili had a happy time wit ka lai,we went out at 10.30am n back at 3.30pm..
he reached my house at 10.30am n fetched me out..
we went to green house to have our breakfast,den we decided to find chia..
went to his home but he wasnt there.. so,called him n he couldnt recognise me..
funny lar,dude.. u dare to say u couldnt recognise my voice !
ok,fine.. i asked him to wait n see who m i when we meet after tat..
den we went to temple n meet them there since today got a festival,but i dun noe wat is d festival called.. haha..
he was a bit surprised when he saw two of us ( ka lai n me )..
it's like something tat will never happen,i once rejected him but now i was with him d whole day long.. oni n d oni two of us..
three of us sat in d temple wit two other boys n two other girls n crapped lots..
after d event ended,ka lai n me went back to d car n drove off whereas chia followed d others..
we went to pusing coz he requested me to show him where is my uncle's shop n where's d hall i used to play badminton at..
we chatted happily today.. it was a bit unexpected coz we would expect tat we will be speechless when we meet each other.. but it turned out another way round.. in fact we got a lot of stuffs to be chatted bout..
he sent me back at 3.30pm.. i borrowed some piano lyrics from him n will return back to him b4 i back to KL..
once reached home,i started to ponder bout my whole day wit him..
last time when he proposed to me,couldnt deny tat i got lil' bit of feel wit him but still,i rejected..
today,he fetched me around,d solid 5 hours,i felt so secure being wit him..
i think i fell for him,but i wont do anything further since i noe it will not end perfectly..
honestly speaking,i felt very very happy today..
somehow when i pondered back,i think i shud have accept tis guy earlier..
he might bring me happiness..
anyway,decision made is decision made.. no way to change it,ryte?
haha..
i wont regret wat i did..
just now JW called me,told me how's my bro who is sick now..
i kinda worry bout my brother.. he is sick..
but since got ppl taking care of him,i feel better..
den JW told me bout d thing tat he shud say,i suppose..
so,he told me a lot of things.. we chatted for 3 hours thru d phone..
i can hear his voice changing,i noe he cried,he denied it..
boys cry is normal,girls are human,boys are human as well.. human has feeling,he/she cries is normal..
tat was d 1st time he cried for something silly,called LOVE..
i know him quite well,i noe wat kind of person he is..
my brother did tell me how tis person's personality is..
i can see he is a very good guy,he is obviously kind towards me..
he is very diligent,his result is a nice one..
no doubt he has a very mature mind,every single thing he does is based on a very properly decided decision..
he proposed to me n asked me whether i will give him a chance..
i gave him an answer of UNDEFINED.. *tut tut tut* --MATH ERROR--
haha..
i did not give him a YES or a NO coz i think neither one will leave a positive effect..
his exam is just around d corner,two more weeks to go.. i just did not want to influence him..
d purpose of him telling me all these is because he could not concentrate on his studies till he cleared his mind..
he just want to express d thing in his mind,d thing tat he isnt clear of.. he wants an answer from me,whether a good one or a bad one,he will accept it..
if i say YES,he will be happy..
if it's a NO,he will accept it n perhaps will sad few days n will be ok after tat..
i told him tat it's not easy to heal urself.. i was a victim b4,i understand tis very well enuf..
i noe d feeling of missing someone,it was terrible..
d feeling was sour enuf to keep me psycho for half a year,cry everyday for half a year,survive without food for 3 days,slept few hours for whole week and even hide in room every day n night.. so,i told him tat i will not give him an exact answer till his exam ends..
i already have an answer in mind..
i even told him if my answer is a NO,i will avoid myself from him..
d reason is simple,to let him forget bout me,or at least to not remind him of me..
coz i rili understand tis pretty thorough..
last time when i broke up wit my EX,i tot i can rili forget him..
i was totally wrong.. ya,i can forget him when i dun get to see him..
but d moment i saw him again,tears kept filling up my eyes,rolling down my cheek..
my heart was like being pierced,point by point.. it ached,d feeling was unendurable ! it made me pretty sick ! and tat can last for dayS !
so,i hope u will understand by then,why i purposely avoid u.. for ur sake !
by then,we will no more be close friends..
we will not be chatting for hours under H Block..
u do not have to accompany me back to my block..
we will not be sitting together at the same table having meal..
we will not be playing badminton together..
i will avoid u every monday in DK..
so,take care !
anyway,if im going to say NO,i will go n find u,tell u face-to-face as i promised..
and i will let u noe tat i will avoid u for some time..
i hope u understand me..
letting u seeing me is just like firing u,right into ur heart.. it aches,i understand ! u will suffer,i noe it's a cruel decision..
but tis is d way to make u forget me,even not completely,but at least partially..
he asked me whether do i have any good feeling towards him..
to be frank,i did love u b4.. i had a crushed on u b4.. but tat was b4..
by the time u told me u love me,it was all too late.. i did not have d feeling on u anymore..
im sorie to say tat..
i hope u will be happier..
if can,i want us to be best friends again..
i do not want to avoid u,if can..
cheer up,dude !
all d best for his exams n smile ( tat's wat u always say to me )..
post ended,ciaoz!
Saturday, August 22, 2009
*AS WHAT I EXPECTED*
as i told in d previous blog,JW is going to say something to me..
yea,tat's wat exactly happened..
tis afternoon when i reached home,he sms-ed me n told me lots of things..
he told me tat he is not happy,tis n tat..
i try to cheer him up,dun noe whether it works..
haha..
finally he told me wat is in his heart all this while..
dude,i can feel tat even if u didnt tell..
he told me tat he likes me..
tat was d 2nd last msg from him..
i noe tat,and im trying to avoid tis..
anyway,i noe is going to happen..
so,d last msg i sent to him was to cheer him up,i told him not too think so much..
have some rest n be happy !
haha..
as i told earlier,i will try to avoid tis topic n if can,i do not want to touch bout it..
so,i just ignored tat part n asked him to cheer up..
wat to do now??
arghhhh...
can anyone,pls guide me.. show me some ways !
get me out of tis..
how am i going to face him in d coming week?
*wonder*
BAOYEE needs HELP !
Pls Lead Her Way !
yea,tat's wat exactly happened..
tis afternoon when i reached home,he sms-ed me n told me lots of things..
he told me tat he is not happy,tis n tat..
i try to cheer him up,dun noe whether it works..
haha..
finally he told me wat is in his heart all this while..
dude,i can feel tat even if u didnt tell..
he told me tat he likes me..
tat was d 2nd last msg from him..
i noe tat,and im trying to avoid tis..
anyway,i noe is going to happen..
so,d last msg i sent to him was to cheer him up,i told him not too think so much..
have some rest n be happy !
haha..
as i told earlier,i will try to avoid tis topic n if can,i do not want to touch bout it..
so,i just ignored tat part n asked him to cheer up..
wat to do now??
arghhhh...
can anyone,pls guide me.. show me some ways !
get me out of tis..
how am i going to face him in d coming week?
*wonder*
BAOYEE needs HELP !
Pls Lead Her Way !
*CHAMPION*
It has been such a long time tat I didn’t blog..
sorie for such a long disappearance.. recently I was quite busy wit a lot of things going on.. time flies,now im ady on d train going back to hometown..
It is already 2 weeks since I last went back to hometown.. we have a holiday of from 22nd of august to 31st of august inclusive..
I will be back on 31st of august together wit my uncleS n my brother.. they are going back to hometown on 29th of august n back to KL on 31st.. so,my uncle said he will send my bro n me back to hostel..
Ok,now let’s me talk bout wat happen recently..
Rili a lot to crap about..
Lets start from d most delighting one..
I participated in d sports carnival held in my skul.. our skul(I mean skul of pre-universities studies) is d last to hold tis sports carnival coz we were having our exam previously..
D sports carnival of other skuls such as SBS,SOT,SSSH and SAS had been carried out..
I took part in badminton,women single,women double n mixed double.. to my surprise,I won d game for women single.. HOORAY !! im was d champion !! hahaha..
A few of d girls looked so proud n their face expressions were enuf to make me nervous.. even some of their skills were good enuf to defeat me,but I try my very best to fight them..
My hands were shaking,legs were shaking,heart was beating very fast.. hardly cant breath,I was too nervous,as wat my frens told me..
I noe,but I just cant control myself.. imagine if u were me,im sure u will be like tat as well,ryte?
Anyway,I still won d game n I was on cloud nine.. *ROUND OF APPLAUSE*
I laugh n smile for tat few hours till d next morning,d muscles on my face cramped coz laughed too much..
Never in my life before tat i stood a chance to become d champion,neither did my brother..
I was so delighted tat d clock showed 5am,I was still awake..
I will be representing my skul for women’s double to fight against d champion of other skuls..
Wahaha..
Wen Fu,Wen Jie,dun ever underestimate me.. I won d game,now I can proof it to u guys ! hehe.. =]
For women double,we lost game.. it’s fine,tat was what I told pun pun,my partner of d game..
We got no chemistry,I supposed.. so,it’s fine tat we didn’t win d game.. we never practiced b4 d game,never even played together b4.. d opponent tat defeated us were’nt bad,but not tat good as well..
One of them is from perak,d same hometown as mine.. she is from JPP,ipoh.. she n her partner kept shooting my partner,but it is fine.. tat’s wat we called a competition,u guys are clever.. haha..
My frens watching from behind also can see tat they kept shooting my partner,I stood there as if I was transparent.. nvm,I enjoyed d game much ! =P
Thanx to Aaron,XP,Clement,Andrea,Pun Pun,Jie Rong n Jia wei n dearest brother for cheering me up.. im ok,guys !
Next was d mixed double,my partner was XP..
We won d 2nd runner up,not bad !! haha.. another medal in hand !! whoohoo !!
Tis was another one I didn’t expect,I tot we are going to lose d game in d 1sr round since most of the teams are great ! n we are just BOLEH TAHAN.. but at last still stand a chance to win a medal.. happy birthday to XP,tis medal is a present for u.. hehe..
Yesterday I didn’t have any game,so I went to help my group which is in charge of futsal..
Im one of d committee but I never went to help these few days coz I was involved in d badminton competition.. sorie ya,guys !
I knew many of them thru tis sports carnival.. they were Jeremy,one of d futsal committee,Jhen Eu,our new director for futsal club(shame.. now oni I now d director changed dy.. =P),Shaun,Edwin,Kenny n many more.. there was oni a game left for futsal cine there were oni 2 groups left.. ghee!! We had to watch d game under d rain.. Gosh,my shirt was half wet even I brought my umbrella.. just imagine 5 ppl in one small little umbrella,tis was wat happened !
D game ended n we went to d sports complex coz I promised to be d umpire.. Jehn Eu drove me there since it was raining heavily.. at there,I became d umpire for many matches.. Aaron,u owe me many meals ! =P
Actually I volunteered myself to become the umpire coz d main purpose is tat,I want to watch d men’s double game.. hehe..
From there,I know a lot of ppl as well.. d day I played for mixed double, a girl who I defeated in women’s single game asked for my number.. she asked me to go for badminton game when im free.. she was d one who won d 1st runner up,she was awesome.. I almost lost d game,thank God,I won it at last.. our score differed not much,just a few points more than hers… OK,tat’s all for badminton..
Next is my current life in hostel,I have been quite close to one of my brother’s friends recently..
His name is JW.. there are a lot of rumuors saying tat we are couple.. I noe he is kind,I can see.. even I can feel tat he likes me,im sure,not 100 % oso got 99.9%..
Almost every night,both of us will walk around d hostel n chat.. chat for a few hours n den he will accompany me back to my block n den he will back to his block..
He is such a kind guy,no doubt..Few days ago,my brother wanted to ask me a question n he asked me to go n find him.. at tat time,I was wit JW chatting near block H.. he knew I was wit him coz he saw us.. JW n me chatted for almost 3 hours n my brother called me..
Brother : Finish pak toh(dating) lar?
Me : Wat?! Shit lar u..
Brother : cheh.. u noe urself lar.. good ma,pak toh not good meh..
Me : go to hell lar.. I m not dating wit him,just chatting ok? Wat question u want to ask me?
Brother : tis question lor..dating wit him not good meh.. good ah.. he is so kind,if u pak toh wit him,den I can play badminton wit him very often lor..
Me : hey,come on lar.. even if I do not pak toh wit him,u still can play badminton wit him,k ? stop bull-shitting ! bye bye lar !
OMG,even my brother encouraged me to dating wit him..
He is very kind,especially towards me..
He did a lot for me,can see OBVIUOSLY.. even d ppl around me,all of them can feel tat..
But he is not my cup of tea,perhaps.. shud I avoid him? Anyone can help me? Arghh…
I hope he will be one of my very best fren,I just hope tat.. not much than tat.. but shud I be tat cruel?
I think he is going to tell me something soon,he shared a lot of his stories wit me.. even once,he was trying to imply something to me,n I was pretending,trying to change topic..
I just do not want our relationship to become worst after all..
Give me some time to ponder bout tis.. can anyone guide my way? Leave me some solutions so tat I can solve d problem or at least to maintain d current relationship..
Looking forward to have happy times at hometown..
shud stop here coz laptop habis battery lor..
Below are some pictures.. enjoy enjoy !
Haha..
Ciaoz ！
HooraY !! Im Da Champion !!!! =D
D Chart of d day(Women's single)..
Thanx for u guys' support ya !! Love ya ! =)
sorie for such a long disappearance.. recently I was quite busy wit a lot of things going on.. time flies,now im ady on d train going back to hometown..
It is already 2 weeks since I last went back to hometown.. we have a holiday of from 22nd of august to 31st of august inclusive..
I will be back on 31st of august together wit my uncleS n my brother.. they are going back to hometown on 29th of august n back to KL on 31st.. so,my uncle said he will send my bro n me back to hostel..
Ok,now let’s me talk bout wat happen recently..
Rili a lot to crap about..
Lets start from d most delighting one..
I participated in d sports carnival held in my skul.. our skul(I mean skul of pre-universities studies) is d last to hold tis sports carnival coz we were having our exam previously..
D sports carnival of other skuls such as SBS,SOT,SSSH and SAS had been carried out..
I took part in badminton,women single,women double n mixed double.. to my surprise,I won d game for women single.. HOORAY !! im was d champion !! hahaha..
A few of d girls looked so proud n their face expressions were enuf to make me nervous.. even some of their skills were good enuf to defeat me,but I try my very best to fight them..
My hands were shaking,legs were shaking,heart was beating very fast.. hardly cant breath,I was too nervous,as wat my frens told me..
I noe,but I just cant control myself.. imagine if u were me,im sure u will be like tat as well,ryte?
Anyway,I still won d game n I was on cloud nine.. *ROUND OF APPLAUSE*
I laugh n smile for tat few hours till d next morning,d muscles on my face cramped coz laughed too much..
Never in my life before tat i stood a chance to become d champion,neither did my brother..
I was so delighted tat d clock showed 5am,I was still awake..
I will be representing my skul for women’s double to fight against d champion of other skuls..
Wahaha..
Wen Fu,Wen Jie,dun ever underestimate me.. I won d game,now I can proof it to u guys ! hehe.. =]
For women double,we lost game.. it’s fine,tat was what I told pun pun,my partner of d game..
We got no chemistry,I supposed.. so,it’s fine tat we didn’t win d game.. we never practiced b4 d game,never even played together b4.. d opponent tat defeated us were’nt bad,but not tat good as well..
One of them is from perak,d same hometown as mine.. she is from JPP,ipoh.. she n her partner kept shooting my partner,but it is fine.. tat’s wat we called a competition,u guys are clever.. haha..
My frens watching from behind also can see tat they kept shooting my partner,I stood there as if I was transparent.. nvm,I enjoyed d game much ! =P
Thanx to Aaron,XP,Clement,Andrea,Pun Pun,Jie Rong n Jia wei n dearest brother for cheering me up.. im ok,guys !
Next was d mixed double,my partner was XP..
We won d 2nd runner up,not bad !! haha.. another medal in hand !! whoohoo !!
Tis was another one I didn’t expect,I tot we are going to lose d game in d 1sr round since most of the teams are great ! n we are just BOLEH TAHAN.. but at last still stand a chance to win a medal.. happy birthday to XP,tis medal is a present for u.. hehe..
Yesterday I didn’t have any game,so I went to help my group which is in charge of futsal..
Im one of d committee but I never went to help these few days coz I was involved in d badminton competition.. sorie ya,guys !
I knew many of them thru tis sports carnival.. they were Jeremy,one of d futsal committee,Jhen Eu,our new director for futsal club(shame.. now oni I now d director changed dy.. =P),Shaun,Edwin,Kenny n many more.. there was oni a game left for futsal cine there were oni 2 groups left.. ghee!! We had to watch d game under d rain.. Gosh,my shirt was half wet even I brought my umbrella.. just imagine 5 ppl in one small little umbrella,tis was wat happened !
D game ended n we went to d sports complex coz I promised to be d umpire.. Jehn Eu drove me there since it was raining heavily.. at there,I became d umpire for many matches.. Aaron,u owe me many meals ! =P
Actually I volunteered myself to become the umpire coz d main purpose is tat,I want to watch d men’s double game.. hehe..
From there,I know a lot of ppl as well.. d day I played for mixed double, a girl who I defeated in women’s single game asked for my number.. she asked me to go for badminton game when im free.. she was d one who won d 1st runner up,she was awesome.. I almost lost d game,thank God,I won it at last.. our score differed not much,just a few points more than hers… OK,tat’s all for badminton..
Next is my current life in hostel,I have been quite close to one of my brother’s friends recently..
His name is JW.. there are a lot of rumuors saying tat we are couple.. I noe he is kind,I can see.. even I can feel tat he likes me,im sure,not 100 % oso got 99.9%..
Almost every night,both of us will walk around d hostel n chat.. chat for a few hours n den he will accompany me back to my block n den he will back to his block..
He is such a kind guy,no doubt..Few days ago,my brother wanted to ask me a question n he asked me to go n find him.. at tat time,I was wit JW chatting near block H.. he knew I was wit him coz he saw us.. JW n me chatted for almost 3 hours n my brother called me..
Brother : Finish pak toh(dating) lar?
Me : Wat?! Shit lar u..
Brother : cheh.. u noe urself lar.. good ma,pak toh not good meh..
Me : go to hell lar.. I m not dating wit him,just chatting ok? Wat question u want to ask me?
Brother : tis question lor..dating wit him not good meh.. good ah.. he is so kind,if u pak toh wit him,den I can play badminton wit him very often lor..
Me : hey,come on lar.. even if I do not pak toh wit him,u still can play badminton wit him,k ? stop bull-shitting ! bye bye lar !
OMG,even my brother encouraged me to dating wit him..
He is very kind,especially towards me..
He did a lot for me,can see OBVIUOSLY.. even d ppl around me,all of them can feel tat..
But he is not my cup of tea,perhaps.. shud I avoid him? Anyone can help me? Arghh…
I hope he will be one of my very best fren,I just hope tat.. not much than tat.. but shud I be tat cruel?
I think he is going to tell me something soon,he shared a lot of his stories wit me.. even once,he was trying to imply something to me,n I was pretending,trying to change topic..
I just do not want our relationship to become worst after all..
Give me some time to ponder bout tis.. can anyone guide my way? Leave me some solutions so tat I can solve d problem or at least to maintain d current relationship..
Looking forward to have happy times at hometown..
shud stop here coz laptop habis battery lor..
Below are some pictures.. enjoy enjoy !
Haha..
Ciaoz ！
HooraY !! Im Da Champion !!!! =D
D Chart of d day(Women's single)..
Thanx for u guys' support ya !! Love ya ! =)
tis was d racket i used to defeat my opponent ! Muacks ! =D
they supported me all d way thru ! Love ya,gals ! :)
my partner for mixed double,well done,XP ! =)
Jhen Eu,d new director of futsal.. =]
Aaron,d director of badminton (SWC) ! Thanx for supporting me ya ! =)
Saturday, August 8, 2009
*RANDOM*
wat shud i write?
almost each n every title oso RANDOM..
sigh..
now im in my hometown,rii enjoy d time being wit family n friends..
today went out whole day,tired yet happy..
now is 3am and im still on9,plan not to sleep today..
but most probably cant make it.. haha..
these two days slept oni 3 to 4 hours per day..
quite tired,but i wanna cherish time being at home,not to sleep,but do everything tat i used to do b4..
im still thinking tat whether i shud go out tomoro it frens or just stay at home,cherish d time being wit family members..
wanna apologise to ka lai coz last time cant go yumcha wit him..
i promised u to go yumcha d next time i back,supposedly tis week..
but i did not find u,neither u did..
i dun noe whether u noe im back or not coz i didnt tell u,assuming tat u read my blog..
anyway,just want to say sorie sincerely..
i feel SOUR,do u feel d same? haha.. a silly question,though..
anyway,hope we are still as good as previous..
below are some random pictures taken recently..
nth to do,so just post it here..
.jpg)
lastly,tat's me..
almost each n every title oso RANDOM..
sigh..
now im in my hometown,rii enjoy d time being wit family n friends..
today went out whole day,tired yet happy..
now is 3am and im still on9,plan not to sleep today..
but most probably cant make it.. haha..
these two days slept oni 3 to 4 hours per day..
quite tired,but i wanna cherish time being at home,not to sleep,but do everything tat i used to do b4..
im still thinking tat whether i shud go out tomoro it frens or just stay at home,cherish d time being wit family members..
wanna apologise to ka lai coz last time cant go yumcha wit him..
i promised u to go yumcha d next time i back,supposedly tis week..
but i did not find u,neither u did..
i dun noe whether u noe im back or not coz i didnt tell u,assuming tat u read my blog..
anyway,just want to say sorie sincerely..
i feel SOUR,do u feel d same? haha.. a silly question,though..
anyway,hope we are still as good as previous..
below are some random pictures taken recently..
nth to do,so just post it here..
.jpg)
lastly,tat's me..
wahaha..
camwhore frenzy,influenced by college friends..
hehe..
nth to write more,leave me some comments ya..
ciaozx !
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