*BAD LUCK*

exam started on tuesday,was freaking emo and disappointed..
especially the 1st paper that i sat for..
it was pure maths paper,never ever in my life i did my maths so badly..
i didnt notice the last 2 questions,and 20 marks just gone like that..
after that freaking exam,went to toilet,cried..
my mood went down,moody the whole day..
speechless the whole day..
endured the sorrow till i back to hostel..
cried badly that nite..
after that was the applied maths exam,no mood to do..
so,basically that paper i flunked too..
flunk kao-kao..
GP still not bad,at least written a lot of things,sort of like expressing my emoness..
2nd day,physics paper 1..
since i oni slept 2 hours plus the day before maths exam,so the day before physics i did not study and slept at 9pm..
damn early and woke up at 4sth,ended up sleeping too..
so,in conclusion,i did not study for physics..
thank God i still noe how to do and im satisfied..
following it,was chemistry test on thursday,not bad,better than i expected..
den,it was biology paper 2 today..
erm,i spent the whole holiday just for biology,but i could not really remember all the facts..
nvm,still not bad..
wit some careless silly mistakes,at least i still did most of the questions and i think it was better than the previous tests..
next week gonna be bio paper 1,phy and chem paper 2..
God bless..

just now went out to TBR wit JW to have dinner..
half way to TBR,almost reached,suddenly rain poured..
freaking heavy man !
whole body wet,no choice but to went back to hostel and take a bath..
so,went back and took bath..
freaking hungry,so went out wit an umbrella tis time [ smart dy ] *evil grin*
but then it did not rain anymore..
=.="
learn from lessonS,since so many times it happened to rain when we went out to TBR,next time remember to bring an UMBRELLA !
tis was the worst,and was my 1st time to walk under the rain..
1st time in my life..
what a freaking day to remember,26th of March 2010,around 7pm..

gonna study and sleep soon,did not sleep well last nite..
ciaozx !

*STRESSFUL*

such a stressful morning..
20th of march 2010,7.20am..
woke up and felt so stressful since exam is nearer and i did not prepare well..
the day b4 yesterday i did not sleep well,guess why ?
kept dreaming,and all the dreams were basically the same,i mean regarding the setting and characters..
haixxxx...
tis made me emo the whole day,not to say emo,but u noe,missing someone is the most painful feeling after all..
anyway,day still passed and i feel better today.. =)
one thing that really stressed me out,EXAM !
sms-ed my friends telling them that im not going for badminton tis afternoon..
haixxxx !!!!!
now gonna study !
haix !

*RANDOM*

tomoro i will be going back to KL to settle some stuff..
meanwhile,will be meeting my beloved for sometime..
will be back at night..
tis morning i made a cake for my brother as he wished for,as his birthday present on tis coming thursday..
made some too for JW,hehe..

thursday is a day i dreaded,perhaps !
have to go to a place to get something done,a place which i never ever been to before and never ever want to go,for my whole life..
anyway,wish me luck people !

yesterday chatted quite a number of things wit JW,there were bad and good things that we had already faced and settled them together..
perhaps this is what we call true love : things are discussed and settled together,sometimes recalling back the time that we had passed together-these will definitely deepen our understanding towards each other..
3rd of april is my birthday and he requested me to follow him back to N9,erm..
thought of going too,but decision is still not yet made..
mum supports,neway.. ^^

a lot of things in mind,but i dont know what are them..
myself is puzzled,and i do not know what to do now..
dont feel like studying,dont feel like sleeping,dont feel like doing anything..
sense something not nice,but what izit??
haix..
hope things run smooth..
looking forward to tomoro..
ganbateh LBY,exam coming soon..
after exam ended,will enjoy my days fully..=)

miss u,my dear..
cya tmr..
muacks !

*ANGER*

first of all,let me apologize before i start my words coz my post will be a rude one !
SORRY !

yeah,a particular post in my blog was a meaningless one !
so what?!!
a meaningless blog is always meants for a meaningless person for doing meaningless things !
WHAT THE FUCK !
who was the selfish one?! u please take some time,sit down,and relax ur mind.. recall back everything and see who was the selfish one..
yeah,mayb i was the one,i apologize.. satisfy?!
i admit that im tis kind of people,and i DID TELL u before..
remember what u said? i mentioned that a person need to tolerate wit me or else will end up arguing,and u said u will change.. change what? change from worse to worst?
GOOD AND CONGRATZ !
i dont need u to tolerate with me anymore,who give a DAMN !
u want victory,take it,dont need to give it to me,i dont scarce it !
"i m a guilty person" What do u mean by that sentence,i dont understand..
u dont care?! who cares whether u care !!
BLOODY SHIT !

if u dont care,den :
WHY after i changed my blog address,u still purposely go and find out my blog and read?
WHY u deleted my profile as ur friend in the facebook before i delete u from mine? (take note : is there ever a guy who deleted a girl's profile before she does,just because of a trivial matter and rate the sportingness of this kind of guy,NOTHING BETTER THAN A PIECE OF BLOODY SHIT)
WHY are u still angry wit what i posted?
WHY do u need to mention about my blog in ur post?
WHY do u feel pissed off by the SHITS i wrote here?

ASK URSELF !!!
U ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE TO NOT READ MY BLOG,TO DONT BOTHER WITH WHAT I SAID !!!

yea,what i think is always wrong..
IM WRONG IN EVERYTHING..
IM NEVER RIGHT..
IM WEIRD AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH..
SO HOW?
IF U CANT BEAR WIT ME,GET LOST !
FUCK OFF !!
I DONT EVEN NEED ANY EXPLANATION FROM U !
THEY WILL JUST POLLUTE MY EAR AND WASTE MY MEMORY !




SORRY for the impoliteness of me,this post doesnt mean to offend anyone,im just voicing out my words..
if u feel PISSED OFF(like what somebody felt),please kindly click the cross ( "X" ) on the right hand side corner and GET LOST !

*EMOLICIOUS*

the feeling of emo is just too unbearable..
EXAM is just around the corner,counting down.. :(:(
two more weeks to go,and then it will be the starting of nightmare..
during the last exam which was just a month ago,i nearly gave up my life..
the stress was too intense that i really couldnt take it anymore..
if my room were to be higher,i guess i'll not be here to write my blog anymore..
i couldnt concentrate on my studies,especially when the exam is still far away,mayb the force to push me working hard is not there..
when the exam is coming soon,the stress comes along !! EMO will always be with me as well.. =(
really cant figure out what's gonna happen tis time..
PERHAPS i might not be here anymore to write my blog to tell what happened in the future time..

yeah,i always noe that life is beautiful,life is not just sadness,there are many more joys and things to be discovered in the world..
a lot of joyous,meaningful,significant and watsoever things can be discovered and why dont i try them out? why do i need to give up my life?
it's just a test,and it's just a challenge from God to strengthen me..
i noe all these very well.. SO WAT?
to say all these is definitely easy,but to get them done,what do u think?
im sure u'll already have an answer in mind..
im a pessimist,i noe myself well,i always think of dying..
and if i have a life of 30 years,im already satisfied and willing to leave anytime..
im willing to replace the others' life with my own life.. the "others" i mean were my family members,my friends and my beloved one..
i mean it,i rather my life be taken away than to feel sad for the loss of someone i love..
whenever an exam is around the corner,the stress comes like rain pouring down..
it reminds me of my family and the homesickness will be there again..
it's pretty true,whenever an individual feels sad or down,the one main thing that he/she will think of is the warm and support given by family..
cant do anything,i just can pray hard for the coming test (MID-COURSE TEST=TRIAL) as well as the real AS test in May..
God bless !

another sad case is a separation..
i just dont understand why must there always be a separation after a meeting..
why couldnt a meeting always be a meeting,and no separation after all..
things are always made to be like that,nobody can explain that,u will not be able to find a single word explaining bout tis in the dictionary,in Google search,wikipedia etc..
that is why there are the existance of sadness and happiness..
reason is simple : when there is no sadness,how can u feel the happiness?
when there is no parting,how will u cherish that person? ryte?
but the time will be the limiting factor,when the time comes by,by any means,we will still have to part..
the feeling will be extremely hard to bear,but wat to do? NO CHOICE..
just cry out my heart,shout out loud,emo till time heals the wound..

my dear,i noe u will be reading tis,im just expressing my feeling..
after i broken up wit my last bf during the year 2008,i didnt get into a relationship anymore till after around 1.5 years later..
i just do not want to hurt one more people who loves me..
but i try to accept u since im afraid that i will regret if i give up a guy who can really understand me,tolerate wit my BAD characteristics and suits me so well that it almost will be neutral if we are blended together..
at the starting of our relationship,it was bit unstable and i really thought of giving up u..
but thank God i did not,instead i tried to pull our relationship closer,and yeah,we DID it..
i somehow can feel that tis relationship will last for sometime,perhaps mayb a long time..
sadly,the norm of life is always so,when things get better,somehow something will happen to make it worst..
lots of things happen in such a short period of time..
i noe u can feel what is in my head for these few days when i get to know the separation is coming by..
u will always noe what i was thinking all these while,that's one of the reasons why i love u so much.. u dont understand me totally,but u understand me well.. that's good enough..
u will be staying here to study,while i will be leaving here and go back to my hometown to further my studies in the coming year..
when u decided tis and i got to know it,my heart was sinking..
mood changed,heart sank,tears filled up my eyes,heart was crying..
wanted to cry out loud,but i didnt,i endured till i came back to my own room..
i emo the whole nite and i did express it out in a piece of paper..
all these while,i was looking forward to next year since a few of us will get to stay and study together,isnt that a happy news?
yeah,DEFINITELY..
however,things still tend to change before they take place,decision still tends to change before it is decided..
it's good for u to stay here and study here,i support and respect ur decision.. i mean it..
at least u considered every single aspect before u made tis decision,i love the way u deal with things..
i noe u were facing even a much more harder situation than me when making tis decision,ur heart hurts even much more than mine..
but just cheer up,i noe u can..
im always failing in cheering myself up,but i noe u can make it,cheer up ! :)
i will missing u very very much by that time..
we might get to see each other mayb oni two or three times a year..
by the time we meet back,im afraid that the situation will be awkward and we will not be as close as last time anymore..
but i hope to retain everything,and i will try to retain everything..
missing somebody is the most painful feeling that a person will ever have..
well,mayb i should TRY to analyse it from another point of view..
mayb that will be the time i learn to be independent,not to be so dependent on u anymore like the present time..
whenever i emo,u can see that since i dont talk much..
keep oneself quiet sometimes is the best communication ever,silence brings peace in mind..
crying sometimes is also the best way to voice out what's in ur mind..

when u r reading tis,i hope u understand how i feel and dont feel sad over what i wrote..
i was just trying to tell u that i will be missing u very much and i respect ur decision of staying at here..
as i always tell u,nobody noes what's gonna happen tomoro..
IF one day i die without the chance to say "goodbye,i love u" to u,i hope u will noe that tis is the thing i want to tell u..
just read back tis blog and u will feel as if im standing in front of u telling u tis..
IF i really leave earlier than u,i hope u will remember me forever but do not keep the heart u taken from me,instead,u should find another heart that suits u more..
i wish u good luck for ur future studies at here and all the best for the rest of ur life..
will love u always..
MUACKS !
=)

*HATE PEOPLE LIKE TIS GUY !*

why can a guy be so selfish? so narrow-minded?
WTH !
u were the one who did wrong first and never admitted ur wrong doing,yet u still did sth tat annoyed people..
rili WHAT THE HELL !

sorie for the impolite language used,rili feel so annoyed now !
how come a boy can be as terrible as u..
yeah,no doubt,at times u were good to me..
but when sth happened,ur attitude changed totally !
what i did? did i hurt u that deep,i dont think so !!
u r still living a happy-go-lucky life with ur friends and those so-called girl friends !
why? i dont understand,is that a sign of the ending of our friendship as well ??!
for the time being,i really do hope so,since u were the one who started all these..
and i think that was what u wanted too,am i ryte?!
a BIG disappoinment to have a friend like u,i rather u never existed in my life !! at least,by now i wont feel that much of a disappoinment !

FINE !
anyhow,it's meaningless to have a friend like this !
what for i still take u as my friend since u had forgotten me long,or i shud say u never bother whether im ur friend !
felt like being cheated when i first knew what was going on !
never expected that a guy will be that selfish,pls care bout my feeling,K !
u think u were the oni one who was sad and disappointed at that time,me as well !
damn freaking frustrated wit u,even until now !

PLEASE be sporting a bit,u r not a gentleman,NOT AT ALL !
and so sad,i oni knew it not long even i have known u for so long..
i dont hope to see ur face at anywhere ANYMORE !
pls get lost if u see me,or if i see u,i will automatically get lost by myself !
annoyed to see such a nice face with a freaking terrible concept in mind !

sorie to hurt u,but u were hurting me indirectly and i can tell u,that pain is much much more inbeareable than that of hurting a person directly !!!!

i do not want to mention the name of that freaking person,tau-tau sendiri lar !

neway,im chilled now,no worries..

anyway,im happy that i DID make a RIGHT decision to choose a RIGHT MAN !
and now im happy with my blissful life..
thanx lots to my dear,MUACKS !