*DISAPPOINTED*

DISAPPOINTED
tat's d oni word i have in mind now..
it's just TIME tat heal my heart !
everything started nicely,i chatted happily wit phin..
sharing my happiness,my love story wit her.. at d same time sms-ing wit him..
a msg came,tat was d msg i sent to him.. at d very last part of d msg was written there, "she sent me tis"
my heart was like stop beating,wondering wat is going on.. again,im cheated? but i noe,he is not tat kind of ppl.. so,wat's he trying to do? arghhh !!!!!!!!
im freaking frustrated frustrated frustrated
why now? why why why ??!!!!
i rili enjoyed d happy times wit him,rili rili enjoyed n treasured it very much..
why must it happen when i started to fall for him? why dont it happen earlier ??!
i asked him wat's going on,i said i want an answer of honesty ! he admitted he forwarded d msg to another person..
i asked WHY ?
he wanted d best,d most perfect answer for my question,so he asked his fren wat shud he writes by forwarding my msg to him.. tat was his reason..
for me,messages are much much more private than photos or any other stuffs..
now d msg is seen by his fren,where's d privacy between us?
i even asked him.. Are d messages tat he is sending to me now are all from his friends? All tis while since we noe each other till today,are all d messages from me,he send to his friends?
Are u the person who love me all tis while? or is it just another person?
why u want to do so? why? WHY??

i just want the best answer for u.. i do not noe wat to write,so i decided to ask my best friend..
i fear tat i will lose u once more,i do not want tis to happen again since i lost u once..
now u have some good feel to me,i want to grab tis opportunity to hold u tight,i do not want to lose u..
i noe im selfish,pls forgive me.. but if u stand at my side,u will understand why i do so..
i did not mean to hurt u,to disappoint u.. im just loving u too much,it's true..
im telling tis from deep inside my heart,i rili feel very happy being together wit u..
it's not any other ppl tat loves u,it's me,sincerely from my heart,i rili love u deeply.. no one can replace tis..
im too afraid of losing u,and tis makes me do all these silly things..
tis was d 1st time i forward ur msg to him coz now i got a second chance n i do not want to lose u..
so,i have to find d most perfect answer so tat i will not lose u,and tat's y i did tis..
today i did a lot of things tat i shudnt have do..
i once tried to forget u by not finding u.. but i found out tat i cant,i will still secretly go n read ur blog.. no doubt,i rili sick of u.. from the very 1st until now,i still loving u dearly,im serious.. i did not cheat ur feeling,did not cheat u any single thing.. i hope i will still have a chance,i dont afford to lose u..
pls forgive me for my selfishness..

tat's the things he told me.. i combine them into d whole passage..
now oni i found out why in d previous month,u r so cold to me tat i did not receive even a single msg from u.. as in my few previous post,i did mention tat our relationship became sour..
now i noe why,u r trying to forget me,trying not to find me..
sorie,i misunderstood u.. sorry !
anyway,i rili felt a very big disappointment..
d feeling of being hurted like b4(the time i psycho) came again..
i noe d reason u are doing tis,mayb u rili love me too much tat u mind a lot of every single thing u need to send to me..
wat i want is something tat u type urself,every single genuine thing from ur pure heart,ur pure mind..
even u might not be able to express it as perfect as ur fren,but tat will be the most genuine from u..
tat is all i want,i do not want any msg from ur fren's mind..
i want it from u,ur pure mind.. ur way of expressing it..
everything has happened,no way u can change it..
i will not forgive u since u did not do anything wrong..
i try to put myself in ur shoes n i understand why u do so..
wat i want to say is,i rili enjoyed d time being wit u..
i never feel tat perfect b4,even wit the one i love d most previously(my EX tat hurted me the deepest)..
thanx a lot to u for ur everything,i do cherish..
take note tat a scar will be there forever once u fall down..
the scar will remind u of everything tat had take place..
u want us to be like last time,i hope can..
i dont know it is a CAN or a CANNOT.. i do not know !
wat i noe is tat a scar will be there in my heart forever..
i rili felt like being cheated,im so disappointed..
d feeling is just like my heart being stabbed by a sharp knife which is able to pierce my heart into pieces..
and d most unexpected is tat the person who uses d knife to stab at me is the one i fall for,d one i have had a nice time with..
u can imagine how frust im ryte?
seriously,i need some time to heal myself..
mayb we still can attain our previous relationship,like how close we were previously..
but tat takes TIME !
it's oni TIME tat can give u an answer whether we can be as good as last time..
now a big disappointment in my heart,im speechless..
from a happy bao yee,keep talking n crapping wit her friend,smiling n laughing all d way thru..
one message is enough to turn her into a quiet girl.. no more laughter heard,oni tears are seen rolling down.. not much,but can be seen..
i feel like crying very much,but no tears.. perhaps my heart is crying deep inside..
i got no idea..
im so LOST !
nothing to comment anymore,nothing else to write,nothing else to be pondered about..
have a good rest !