*FOR HIM*

tis post is written purposely for him..
if u read tis,im sure u can feel tat tis post is written purposely for u..
i hope u read tis,these are wat i want to say to u..

sorie,i noe i made u sad..
i noe u r very sad right now,or mayb it will last for quite some time..
i do not feel any better..
just now someone asked me bout u,n he told me something regarding u..
so,i just wanna advice u not to be too sad over sth tat had happened..
i noe my post wont cheer u up any further,but at least i did sth tat i wanted to do..
sorie for being so rude,sorie for making u sad..
it was a small matter,i noe..
but i couldnt take it,i just couldnt face tis kind of situation once again after being hurted..
SORRY !

*HAPPY BIRTHDAY*

To : My Dearest Daddy !

Happy Fifty-Fourth Birthday !

His birthday falls on today,which is 27th of August !

An early wish for my dearest elder brother as well..
His birthday is supposed to be on 28th of August,which is supposed to be tomoro(a day later than dad)..
Wat a coincidence !
Haha..

To : My Dearest Brother !

Happy Twentieth Birthday !

Wish tat all ur dreams come true !
All d best for tomoro n for ur coming exam !

God Bless !
Love both of u very much,Dad n Brother !

=)

*FEELINGLESS*

clock is showing 3am sharp..
d same time yesterday,i had a cold fight wit him..
not to say a fight,but not a peaceful conversation i suppose..
i guess u guys noe who is d one i had tis unpeaceful conversation wit..
yeah,was him.. d one mentioned in my previous blog..
today i went to kampar n he went there as well..
met me there but i was cool towards him,i realised tat..
last night had a terrible conversation wit him.. for me,i will consider as terrible coz i didnt rili like d way we chatted especially at d last part..
he did not answer my question n in fact,gave me a reason tat he is tired,wanted to sleep..
was so pissed off !
tis morning he asked me why was i angry last night,i told him n can say i expressed it in anger d reason why i was so pissed off !
i seldom answered ppl's question in such a rude or full-of-anger way,especially a guy..
he apologised to me many times..
i do not want any sorry from u,ENOUGH !
even u repeat it hundred times,thousand times,million times,it's still d same..
something happened is happened.. no one can change it unless time can go backwards..
u asked for a chance to hang out wit me in d future and we can still be as happy as last time..
do u think it's possible? perhaps ya,but mayb tat's u.. but definitely i cant..
i will still feel the barrier in between,we can hang out if im free n if i got the mood to go out..
we can still be friend,but not best friend as u requested.. and not even further than tat..
i do not noe how to face u,tis morning i kept asking u to go home..
i kept telling u tat i got nth else to chat wit u..
i became so speechless when facing u.. rili got nth else to say..
NOTHING ! my mind blank..
so sorry,didnt mean to be so cool to u.. but i just cant give any more smiles,cant have more more conversations wit u.. im just wordless when see u..
it has changed,we are not tat close anymore..
can u feel d BARRIER in between? i can feel it,it's so obvious..

1st scar was left by my EX,who hurted me really deep enuf to psycho me..
2nd scar was left by u..
i cannot stand a 3rd scar anymore.. i consider myself very "dao mei",being hurted again n again..
u aint hurting me,but i had d feel of being hurted..
seriously,u aint wrong,stop blaming urself..
i forgave u,but even i forgave u,things already happened..
so,do not regret anymore,wat u did were correct..
it's just me tat could not take it,i do not like my msg to be read by a third party..
i just couldnt take all these..
d prob was wit me,not u.. stop apologising,stop blaming urself..

until now,i still feel so disappointed !
due to d things tat happened these few days,i will not let myself fall for anyone else for some time..
yesterday JW called me,i told him i wont give any answer to him..
he did not angry,neither do he feels disappointed.. in fact,he even cheered me up n asked me to make dright decision..
he advised me not to make decision so fast,my journey is still very long,im just 8-teen.. choose slowly,do not ever choose d wrong one..
thx,JW ! :)
i do not want to involve myself in any love thingy for some time due to the recent prob..
it rili made me feelingless,was so disappointed wit everything tat had occured..
love? it's nothing for me now..

LOVE sounds nice,but in fact it is HURTFUL !
officially,i would like to announce tat im FEELINGLESS now n tat will last for some time..
i do not noe when will myself have feeling towards someone again..
i will try hard not to let my heart touched by someone..
live a simple life from now onwards till i meet someone tat really can lead my life thru until d very last beat of my heart..
enjoy d life of being liked by someone but not to LIKE someone..

hopefully God will strenghten my soul,lighten up my spirit..
i just want a SIMPLE LIFE..
it's such a long time since last i experienced such a frustrating situation..
d disappointment tis time left a great impact on me emotionally..
i still need quite some time to be happy again !
no mood dy,ciaoZ !

p/s : i hate ppl tat did not answer my question n straight away tell me tat he/she or tired n wanna sleep ! so irresponsible !

*DISAPPOINTED*

DISAPPOINTED
tat's d oni word i have in mind now..
it's just TIME tat heal my heart !
everything started nicely,i chatted happily wit phin..
sharing my happiness,my love story wit her.. at d same time sms-ing wit him..
a msg came,tat was d msg i sent to him.. at d very last part of d msg was written there, "she sent me tis"
my heart was like stop beating,wondering wat is going on.. again,im cheated? but i noe,he is not tat kind of ppl.. so,wat's he trying to do? arghhh !!!!!!!!
im freaking frustrated frustrated frustrated
why now? why why why ??!!!!
i rili enjoyed d happy times wit him,rili rili enjoyed n treasured it very much..
why must it happen when i started to fall for him? why dont it happen earlier ??!
i asked him wat's going on,i said i want an answer of honesty ! he admitted he forwarded d msg to another person..
i asked WHY ?
he wanted d best,d most perfect answer for my question,so he asked his fren wat shud he writes by forwarding my msg to him.. tat was his reason..
for me,messages are much much more private than photos or any other stuffs..
now d msg is seen by his fren,where's d privacy between us?
i even asked him.. Are d messages tat he is sending to me now are all from his friends? All tis while since we noe each other till today,are all d messages from me,he send to his friends?
Are u the person who love me all tis while? or is it just another person?
why u want to do so? why? WHY??

i just want the best answer for u.. i do not noe wat to write,so i decided to ask my best friend..
i fear tat i will lose u once more,i do not want tis to happen again since i lost u once..
now u have some good feel to me,i want to grab tis opportunity to hold u tight,i do not want to lose u..
i noe im selfish,pls forgive me.. but if u stand at my side,u will understand why i do so..
i did not mean to hurt u,to disappoint u.. im just loving u too much,it's true..
im telling tis from deep inside my heart,i rili feel very happy being together wit u..
it's not any other ppl tat loves u,it's me,sincerely from my heart,i rili love u deeply.. no one can replace tis..
im too afraid of losing u,and tis makes me do all these silly things..
tis was d 1st time i forward ur msg to him coz now i got a second chance n i do not want to lose u..
so,i have to find d most perfect answer so tat i will not lose u,and tat's y i did tis..
today i did a lot of things tat i shudnt have do..
i once tried to forget u by not finding u.. but i found out tat i cant,i will still secretly go n read ur blog.. no doubt,i rili sick of u.. from the very 1st until now,i still loving u dearly,im serious.. i did not cheat ur feeling,did not cheat u any single thing.. i hope i will still have a chance,i dont afford to lose u..
pls forgive me for my selfishness..

tat's the things he told me.. i combine them into d whole passage..
now oni i found out why in d previous month,u r so cold to me tat i did not receive even a single msg from u.. as in my few previous post,i did mention tat our relationship became sour..
now i noe why,u r trying to forget me,trying not to find me..
sorie,i misunderstood u.. sorry !
anyway,i rili felt a very big disappointment..
d feeling of being hurted like b4(the time i psycho) came again..
i noe d reason u are doing tis,mayb u rili love me too much tat u mind a lot of every single thing u need to send to me..
wat i want is something tat u type urself,every single genuine thing from ur pure heart,ur pure mind..
even u might not be able to express it as perfect as ur fren,but tat will be the most genuine from u..
tat is all i want,i do not want any msg from ur fren's mind..
i want it from u,ur pure mind.. ur way of expressing it..
everything has happened,no way u can change it..
i will not forgive u since u did not do anything wrong..
i try to put myself in ur shoes n i understand why u do so..
wat i want to say is,i rili enjoyed d time being wit u..
i never feel tat perfect b4,even wit the one i love d most previously(my EX tat hurted me the deepest)..
thanx a lot to u for ur everything,i do cherish..
take note tat a scar will be there forever once u fall down..
the scar will remind u of everything tat had take place..
u want us to be like last time,i hope can..
i dont know it is a CAN or a CANNOT.. i do not know !
wat i noe is tat a scar will be there in my heart forever..
i rili felt like being cheated,im so disappointed..
d feeling is just like my heart being stabbed by a sharp knife which is able to pierce my heart into pieces..
and d most unexpected is tat the person who uses d knife to stab at me is the one i fall for,d one i have had a nice time with..
u can imagine how frust im ryte?
seriously,i need some time to heal myself..
mayb we still can attain our previous relationship,like how close we were previously..
but tat takes TIME !
it's oni TIME tat can give u an answer whether we can be as good as last time..
now a big disappointment in my heart,im speechless..
from a happy bao yee,keep talking n crapping wit her friend,smiling n laughing all d way thru..
one message is enough to turn her into a quiet girl.. no more laughter heard,oni tears are seen rolling down.. not much,but can be seen..
i feel like crying very much,but no tears.. perhaps my heart is crying deep inside..
i got no idea..
im so LOST !
nothing to comment anymore,nothing else to write,nothing else to be pondered about..
have a good rest !

*WHAT TO DO?*

now is 2.10am.. wat i shud be doing now is studying..
but i cant rili concentrate..1st reason,im sleepy.. 2nd reason,i got something not clear in my head.. 3rd,i think i need to express something out in order to make myself feel better..
i need a shoulder ! seriously !
haix.. im so lost right now,im in nowhere,no direction,no guidance !
wat shud i do??

today rili had a happy time wit ka lai,we went out at 10.30am n back at 3.30pm..
he reached my house at 10.30am n fetched me out..
we went to green house to have our breakfast,den we decided to find chia..
went to his home but he wasnt there.. so,called him n he couldnt recognise me..
funny lar,dude.. u dare to say u couldnt recognise my voice !
ok,fine.. i asked him to wait n see who m i when we meet after tat..
den we went to temple n meet them there since today got a festival,but i dun noe wat is d festival called.. haha..
he was a bit surprised when he saw two of us ( ka lai n me )..
it's like something tat will never happen,i once rejected him but now i was with him d whole day long.. oni n d oni two of us..
three of us sat in d temple wit two other boys n two other girls n crapped lots..
after d event ended,ka lai n me went back to d car n drove off whereas chia followed d others..
we went to pusing coz he requested me to show him where is my uncle's shop n where's d hall i used to play badminton at..
we chatted happily today.. it was a bit unexpected coz we would expect tat we will be speechless when we meet each other.. but it turned out another way round.. in fact we got a lot of stuffs to be chatted bout..
he sent me back at 3.30pm.. i borrowed some piano lyrics from him n will return back to him b4 i back to KL..
once reached home,i started to ponder bout my whole day wit him..
last time when he proposed to me,couldnt deny tat i got lil' bit of feel wit him but still,i rejected..
today,he fetched me around,d solid 5 hours,i felt so secure being wit him..
i think i fell for him,but i wont do anything further since i noe it will not end perfectly..
honestly speaking,i felt very very happy today..
somehow when i pondered back,i think i shud have accept tis guy earlier..
he might bring me happiness..
anyway,decision made is decision made.. no way to change it,ryte?
haha..
i wont regret wat i did..

just now JW called me,told me how's my bro who is sick now..
i kinda worry bout my brother.. he is sick..
but since got ppl taking care of him,i feel better..
den JW told me bout d thing tat he shud say,i suppose..
so,he told me a lot of things.. we chatted for 3 hours thru d phone..
i can hear his voice changing,i noe he cried,he denied it..
boys cry is normal,girls are human,boys are human as well.. human has feeling,he/she cries is normal..
tat was d 1st time he cried for something silly,called LOVE..
i know him quite well,i noe wat kind of person he is..
my brother did tell me how tis person's personality is..
i can see he is a very good guy,he is obviously kind towards me..
he is very diligent,his result is a nice one..
no doubt he has a very mature mind,every single thing he does is based on a very properly decided decision..
he proposed to me n asked me whether i will give him a chance..
i gave him an answer of UNDEFINED.. *tut tut tut* --MATH ERROR--
haha..
i did not give him a YES or a NO coz i think neither one will leave a positive effect..
his exam is just around d corner,two more weeks to go.. i just did not want to influence him..
d purpose of him telling me all these is because he could not concentrate on his studies till he cleared his mind..
he just want to express d thing in his mind,d thing tat he isnt clear of.. he wants an answer from me,whether a good one or a bad one,he will accept it..
if i say YES,he will be happy..
if it's a NO,he will accept it n perhaps will sad few days n will be ok after tat..
i told him tat it's not easy to heal urself.. i was a victim b4,i understand tis very well enuf..
i noe d feeling of missing someone,it was terrible..
d feeling was sour enuf to keep me psycho for half a year,cry everyday for half a year,survive without food for 3 days,slept few hours for whole week and even hide in room every day n night.. so,i told him tat i will not give him an exact answer till his exam ends..
i already have an answer in mind..
i even told him if my answer is a NO,i will avoid myself from him..
d reason is simple,to let him forget bout me,or at least to not remind him of me..
coz i rili understand tis pretty thorough..
last time when i broke up wit my EX,i tot i can rili forget him..
i was totally wrong.. ya,i can forget him when i dun get to see him..
but d moment i saw him again,tears kept filling up my eyes,rolling down my cheek..
my heart was like being pierced,point by point.. it ached,d feeling was unendurable ! it made me pretty sick ! and tat can last for dayS !
so,i hope u will understand by then,why i purposely avoid u.. for ur sake !
by then,we will no more be close friends..
we will not be chatting for hours under H Block..
u do not have to accompany me back to my block..
we will not be sitting together at the same table having meal..
we will not be playing badminton together..
i will avoid u every monday in DK..
so,take care !
anyway,if im going to say NO,i will go n find u,tell u face-to-face as i promised..
and i will let u noe tat i will avoid u for some time..
i hope u understand me..
letting u seeing me is just like firing u,right into ur heart.. it aches,i understand ! u will suffer,i noe it's a cruel decision..
but tis is d way to make u forget me,even not completely,but at least partially..
he asked me whether do i have any good feeling towards him..
to be frank,i did love u b4.. i had a crushed on u b4.. but tat was b4..
by the time u told me u love me,it was all too late.. i did not have d feeling on u anymore..
im sorie to say tat..
i hope u will be happier..
if can,i want us to be best friends again..
i do not want to avoid u,if can..
cheer up,dude !
all d best for his exams n smile ( tat's wat u always say to me )..
post ended,ciaoz!

*AS WHAT I EXPECTED*

as i told in d previous blog,JW is going to say something to me..
yea,tat's wat exactly happened..
tis afternoon when i reached home,he sms-ed me n told me lots of things..
he told me tat he is not happy,tis n tat..
i try to cheer him up,dun noe whether it works..
haha..
finally he told me wat is in his heart all this while..
dude,i can feel tat even if u didnt tell..
he told me tat he likes me..
tat was d 2nd last msg from him..
i noe tat,and im trying to avoid tis..
anyway,i noe is going to happen..
so,d last msg i sent to him was to cheer him up,i told him not too think so much..
have some rest n be happy !
haha..
as i told earlier,i will try to avoid tis topic n if can,i do not want to touch bout it..
so,i just ignored tat part n asked him to cheer up..

wat to do now??
arghhhh...
can anyone,pls guide me.. show me some ways !
get me out of tis..

how am i going to face him in d coming week?
*wonder*

BAOYEE needs HELP !
Pls Lead Her Way !

*CHAMPION*

It has been such a long time tat I didn’t blog..
sorie for such a long disappearance.. recently I was quite busy wit a lot of things going on.. time flies,now im ady on d train going back to hometown..
It is already 2 weeks since I last went back to hometown.. we have a holiday of from 22nd of august to 31st of august inclusive..
I will be back on 31st of august together wit my uncleS n my brother.. they are going back to hometown on 29th of august n back to KL on 31st.. so,my uncle said he will send my bro n me back to hostel..
Ok,now let’s me talk bout wat happen recently..
Rili a lot to crap about..

Lets start from d most delighting one..
I participated in d sports carnival held in my skul.. our skul(I mean skul of pre-universities studies) is d last to hold tis sports carnival coz we were having our exam previously..
D sports carnival of other skuls such as SBS,SOT,SSSH and SAS had been carried out..
I took part in badminton,women single,women double n mixed double.. to my surprise,I won d game for women single.. HOORAY !! im was d champion !! hahaha..
A few of d girls looked so proud n their face expressions were enuf to make me nervous.. even some of their skills were good enuf to defeat me,but I try my very best to fight them..
My hands were shaking,legs were shaking,heart was beating very fast.. hardly cant breath,I was too nervous,as wat my frens told me..
I noe,but I just cant control myself.. imagine if u were me,im sure u will be like tat as well,ryte?
Anyway,I still won d game n I was on cloud nine.. *ROUND OF APPLAUSE*
I laugh n smile for tat few hours till d next morning,d muscles on my face cramped coz laughed too much..
Never in my life before tat i stood a chance to become d champion,neither did my brother..
I was so delighted tat d clock showed 5am,I was still awake..
I will be representing my skul for women’s double to fight against d champion of other skuls..
Wahaha..
Wen Fu,Wen Jie,dun ever underestimate me.. I won d game,now I can proof it to u guys ! hehe.. =]

For women double,we lost game.. it’s fine,tat was what I told pun pun,my partner of d game..
We got no chemistry,I supposed.. so,it’s fine tat we didn’t win d game.. we never practiced b4 d game,never even played together b4.. d opponent tat defeated us were’nt bad,but not tat good as well..
One of them is from perak,d same hometown as mine.. she is from JPP,ipoh.. she n her partner kept shooting my partner,but it is fine.. tat’s wat we called a competition,u guys are clever.. haha..
My frens watching from behind also can see tat they kept shooting my partner,I stood there as if I was transparent.. nvm,I enjoyed d game much ! =P
Thanx to Aaron,XP,Clement,Andrea,Pun Pun,Jie Rong n Jia wei n dearest brother for cheering me up.. im ok,guys !

Next was d mixed double,my partner was XP..
We won d 2nd runner up,not bad !! haha.. another medal in hand !! whoohoo !!
Tis was another one I didn’t expect,I tot we are going to lose d game in d 1sr round since most of the teams are great ! n we are just BOLEH TAHAN.. but at last still stand a chance to win a medal.. happy birthday to XP,tis medal is a present for u.. hehe..
Yesterday I didn’t have any game,so I went to help my group which is in charge of futsal..
Im one of d committee but I never went to help these few days coz I was involved in d badminton competition.. sorie ya,guys !
I knew many of them thru tis sports carnival.. they were Jeremy,one of d futsal committee,Jhen Eu,our new director for futsal club(shame.. now oni I now d director changed dy.. =P),Shaun,Edwin,Kenny n many more.. there was oni a game left for futsal cine there were oni 2 groups left.. ghee!! We had to watch d game under d rain.. Gosh,my shirt was half wet even I brought my umbrella.. just imagine 5 ppl in one small little umbrella,tis was wat happened !
D game ended n we went to d sports complex coz I promised to be d umpire.. Jehn Eu drove me there since it was raining heavily.. at there,I became d umpire for many matches.. Aaron,u owe me many meals ! =P
Actually I volunteered myself to become the umpire coz d main purpose is tat,I want to watch d men’s double game.. hehe..
From there,I know a lot of ppl as well.. d day I played for mixed double, a girl who I defeated in women’s single game asked for my number.. she asked me to go for badminton game when im free.. she was d one who won d 1st runner up,she was awesome.. I almost lost d game,thank God,I won it at last.. our score differed not much,just a few points more than hers… OK,tat’s all for badminton..

Next is my current life in hostel,I have been quite close to one of my brother’s friends recently..
His name is JW.. there are a lot of rumuors saying tat we are couple.. I noe he is kind,I can see.. even I can feel tat he likes me,im sure,not 100 % oso got 99.9%..
Almost every night,both of us will walk around d hostel n chat.. chat for a few hours n den he will accompany me back to my block n den he will back to his block..
He is such a kind guy,no doubt..Few days ago,my brother wanted to ask me a question n he asked me to go n find him.. at tat time,I was wit JW chatting near block H.. he knew I was wit him coz he saw us.. JW n me chatted for almost 3 hours n my brother called me..

Brother : Finish pak toh(dating) lar?
Me : Wat?! Shit lar u..
Brother : cheh.. u noe urself lar.. good ma,pak toh not good meh..
Me : go to hell lar.. I m not dating wit him,just chatting ok? Wat question u want to ask me?
Brother : tis question lor..dating wit him not good meh.. good ah.. he is so kind,if u pak toh wit him,den I can play badminton wit him very often lor..
Me : hey,come on lar.. even if I do not pak toh wit him,u still can play badminton wit him,k ? stop bull-shitting ! bye bye lar !

OMG,even my brother encouraged me to dating wit him..
He is very kind,especially towards me..
He did a lot for me,can see OBVIUOSLY.. even d ppl around me,all of them can feel tat..
But he is not my cup of tea,perhaps.. shud I avoid him? Anyone can help me? Arghh…
I hope he will be one of my very best fren,I just hope tat.. not much than tat.. but shud I be tat cruel?
I think he is going to tell me something soon,he shared a lot of his stories wit me.. even once,he was trying to imply something to me,n I was pretending,trying to change topic..
I just do not want our relationship to become worst after all..
Give me some time to ponder bout tis.. can anyone guide my way? Leave me some solutions so tat I can solve d problem or at least to maintain d current relationship..

Looking forward to have happy times at hometown..
shud stop here coz laptop habis battery lor..
Below are some pictures.. enjoy enjoy !
Haha..
Ciaoz ！


HooraY !! Im Da Champion !!!! =D


D Chart of d day(Women's single)..


Thanx for u guys' support ya !! Love ya ! =)

tis was d racket i used to defeat my opponent ! Muacks ! =D

they supported me all d way thru ! Love ya,gals ! :)

my partner for mixed double,well done,XP ! =)

Jhen Eu,d new director of futsal.. =]

Aaron,d director of badminton (SWC) ! Thanx for supporting me ya ! =)

*RANDOM*

wat shud i write?
almost each n every title oso RANDOM..
sigh..
now im in my hometown,rii enjoy d time being wit family n friends..
today went out whole day,tired yet happy..
now is 3am and im still on9,plan not to sleep today..
but most probably cant make it.. haha..
these two days slept oni 3 to 4 hours per day..
quite tired,but i wanna cherish time being at home,not to sleep,but do everything tat i used to do b4..

im still thinking tat whether i shud go out tomoro it frens or just stay at home,cherish d time being wit family members..
wanna apologise to ka lai coz last time cant go yumcha wit him..
i promised u to go yumcha d next time i back,supposedly tis week..
but i did not find u,neither u did..
i dun noe whether u noe im back or not coz i didnt tell u,assuming tat u read my blog..
anyway,just want to say sorie sincerely..
i feel SOUR,do u feel d same? haha.. a silly question,though..
anyway,hope we are still as good as previous..

below are some random pictures taken recently..
nth to do,so just post it here..

lastly,tat's me..

wahaha..

camwhore frenzy,influenced by college friends..

hehe..

nth to write more,leave me some comments ya..

ciaozx !

*RANDOM*

hippie !! tis friday going back hometown..
how good is tat..
everytime b4 going back to hometown,seemed like i planned a lot of things to be done during d two days at hometown,but ended up doing nothing..
now i planned to go parade,to hang out wit frens,play badminton,help mum wit her things,going to ipoh,one of the shops which is famous for selling badminton thingy,repairing and watsoever,going wit marcus,KC n yee theng n so 'on..
but i guess most of d things will never be done.. =P
my bro told me tat we are not going to play badminton coz usually tat is d thing tat wasted our time all this while..
so,why dont we utilise d time to do other things,ryte?

li min sms-ed me yesterday,asking me to go steamboat at greentown next saturday coz coincidently she is back tat time !
but sad case,i cant make it coz saturday night is my family day whenever i back to hometown..
will be going to grandpa's shop at night to meet my beloved goo-goo n d others..
sorie ya,li min.. u guys enjoy,K?
an advice,i dun noe wat happen between u n Da Third,anyway,bear wit tat,K?
two years isnt a short time,tolerate each other n stay happy n lovely..

cut the crap,back to d topic..
i miss my mum..
u will never realise how important is a thing to u,till d time when d thing is not by ur side..
now i understand d theory,learnt a lesson..
whenever i feel stressed,whenever i feel lonely,whenever im down,whenever im moody..
the first thing tat comes to mind is MUMMY..
seriously,sometimes when i think back how bad i treated my mum previously,i rili feel tat im sucha bad daughter..
but wat can i do? mayb i inherit my mum's bad temper during her young age..
she used to b a fierce woman,i can describe.. a hot-tempered person,scold every single thing tat annoyed her..
i think im tat kind,too.. even if it's now,but i think im d wanna-be hot-tempered person..
haha... bear wit tat,k? i just cant control my emotion,sometimes..
sometimes i can be very weak,but can be very fierce as well..
dun ever try to annoy me or u'll be in hot soup..
izzit so? i dun noe.. some of my frens told me tat im actually not tat fierce..
in fact,im weak but can be very cool at times..

i used to cry a lot recently..
mostly due to studies' tension.. i cried rili a lot a lot for tat..
i admit im d so-called-kiasu type,which means dun dare to lose..
yea,im.. i cant afford to lose..
but d fact is always opposing me,i cant score well in d exam..
so far,3 papers were given back..

Biology-Terrible ! i didnt even realise tat there is a box for us to fill in our MCQ questions' answers,so i didnt fill in tat box..
teacher warned me not to repeat again or else marks will not be given..
OMG !! tears instantly filled my eyes,wat the heck tat i didnt notice d box up there..
i bet i was too nervous,as it was our 1st paper,1st test in A-level..
i cried for 2 days till d Bio exam,n still crying in d 1 hour b4 d exam started..
neway,everyone did bad in Bio,out of more than 120 ppl,oni 4 got A's,an A2.. n 2 ppl failed it,from my class.. =P

next is..
Physics-Horrible !
same grade wit Bio but lesser marks..
im not tat frustrated wit this coz tat's wat i expected..
i think my mark is considered as OK,much more better than lots of them..
perhaps im one of the top 5,i guess since i heard tat a lot of my frens' marks are low.. =P
neway,i dont have much confident in tis subject anymore,coz as wat our seniors told us,Physics paper is d most tough paper..
d Physics class is getting smaller n smaller,from 30 ppl,now oni half left,which is oni 15 ppl..
just imagine tat..
btw,im not going to drop tis subject,instead i will brush up on it..

3rd paper is..
Mathematics- HOORAY !!
eventhou not very high marks,consider d best among all..
i got an A.. bwahaha..
i did quite good,satisfied wit myself.. *clap clap*
i think i got d highest marks for tis..
hooray !

hopefully all other papers will get d marks tat satisfy myself..
ok lar,crap till here..
nothing much to say..
now it's already 6pm,just had my breakfast at 4.30pm..
now gonna check mails n den off laptop n study,perhaps..
see ya guys in hometown !
ciaozz !