*I LOVE U*

2 weeks ago,i went back to my home which is BG.

I remembered on saturday morning my grandpa ordered some hardware (izit called hardware? *thinking* well,wateva ! ) and the company sent them to my house.

My grandpa told me that those things he ordered are for the renovation of a part of my house (somewhere near the kitchen at the back part of my house).

At noon,my grandpa started the renovation work,my brother and i did help,but not much. Seeing my grandpa climbing stairs to place the aluminium roof-top on the wooden sticks,i felt very touched and at the same time,saddening.

I was thinking that,"grandpa is already old,no more a young healthy strong man,why is he doing this kind of things instead of sitting down,enjoying the life of being a retired papa/grandpa?"

I seriously felt very sad seeing that situation,and i seriously felt that he is already old.

But i know he did this things was to spend his leisure time wisely and productively. I know he is the kind that couldnt sit down quietly doing nothing,at least he will do something very beneficial to us.

I love him very much.

When i saw him doing so many tiring works,suddenly something popped out in my mind. This thing in my mind is very controversial,i do not know what to do. I'm stuck !

The only thing i would usually do is cry,other than crying,i do not have any idea of how to express my sadness and get myself relaxed.

Later,my grandpa stops his work and told me that he will continue the next day. I purposely told him that,"Grandpa,slowly do lar,this kind of thing no need to rush ma.. Still got plenty of time,do it slowly lor..(cheong maeng gong fu cheong maeng jou)" Get what i mean? There r some hidden meanings behind the things i uttered.

My grandpa replied,"Yalor,slowly do lor.. If get everything done so fast,later i boring lor,got nothing to do ady.."

I really felt sad inside,but i could not do anything other than to love him more.

Came back to Kampar on monday morning and i felt very unwilling to come back. But i got no choice.

I'd something in mind which i did not mention to anyone. I'd tell many people that my sixth sense is quite precise,never knowing that this is so true.

On tuesday,my uncle found me in facebook and i chatted with him. I told him that i feel that grandpa is old,he has the same feeling as me. I did mention to him about the things i wrote earlier.

Not long after that,my aunt who lives in Kampar called my brother. She wanted to borrow car from my brother and she mentioned that my grandpa was suffering from breathing difficulty.

At that moment,my heart was like falling down from cavity. I wasnt that shocked since i already anticipated this to happen,but i never want this to happen.

NEVER AT ALL !! NONONONOOO!!!

At night my mum called my brother and she wanted me to chat with her. I went downstairs and i couldnt endure my tears,i cried. I know mum was worried but i really couldnt keep the tears anymore. It was very hurtful to know that.

My mum kept on comforting me saying that my grandpa will be okay.

I just couldnt endure,i cried till night time until my God bro came to find us,i felt better after that.

The next morning,i went to find my mum at pasar pagi,chatted a while and got something from her,after that i went back since i'd class at 10am.

Actually on that week itself,we'll have BBQ party at our house in Kampar,but we requested to postpone it because we wanted to go home so badly. Okay,postponed !

We went back on saturday morning,after my class.

Reached home,first thing i sensed was,i smelt the smell of medicated oil.

The moment i stepped into the house,i felt that gloom of the house. I hate this kind of feeling.

Went into my grandpa's room,the first thing i noticed was,my grandpa has lose weight. I felt very dismaying.

He looks like he is very suffering to me. I really couldnt endure,i am very willing to be the one who sick or whatsoever,rather than seeing my beloved ones to be in pain or hard situation.

I endured my tears and i cried in the car on the way to fetch my little brother. I cried from 12sth till 6pm,all the time when i was helping my mum to prepare dinner,cutting vege,cooking etc.

Tears kept on rolling down my cheeks and i hid it from my parents but i guessed they knew it.

I couldnt endure my tears when i saw my grandpa's things at the back of the house,i can hardly smile on that day until my grandpa came to the back of the house,i saw him doin his things and i felt a bit relieved.

Then on,i stop crying, is started to be cheerful a bit.

On sunday,i felt much more better. I went out to market with my little brother and we bought breakfast for my grandpa. My little brother has really grown up. I feel it !

On monday morning,as usual,we left home and come back to Kampar. Before that,i went out with my grandpa to market and bought some ingredients. My grandpa said he will cook himself his breakfast.

We left at around 7.45am. I was very unwillingly leaving home,leaving my granpa alone at home for that morning. I seriously respect him and love him very much and he is my idol,no doubt !

I was very emo the whole day and i knew my classmates noticed it. They kept asking me what happened,but i did not tell them. I almost cried,luckily i didnt.

I called my grandpa once in two days to ensure that he is okay.

And by now,he is much more better already. Im a bit relieved.

I love u very much,my dearest grandpa !

I love u,now and always !!

Please stay healthy,stay strong and im sure u will live long !

You will not want us to feel sad right? I still want to complete my responsibility as a granddaughter. So,u must stay strong okay?

I know u will ! :)

Love you !!!! (:(:(: