*HATE = LOVE*

yesterday i saw my ex-bf[FKH],d one i love d most..
huhhh..
i always tell my frens tat i hate him to d core,i will not love him anymore,i hate him !!!
n cmk always says,"u hate him so much because u love him tat much"..
erm,formerly i didnt understand d phrase n i will argued wit her,saying tat i rili hate him..
but now i realised,tat phrase means it..
from d day i parted wit him till yesterday b4 i saw him,i rili hate him n never even replied his messages..
until last nite,i went to yumcha wit ah len,ah chow,phin n cmk,i met him..
he went yumcha wit my elder bro n i met my elder bro coz we promised to go home together..
we drove separate cars coz i was fetching 4 ppl n my bro was alone..
besides,we went yumcha at different places..
1st,my gang went to keong fong n yumcha there,later on we planned to get d skul magazine of our skul from lee kee..
so,i drove there n took d magazine..
i will keep d magazine coz i will return it back to lee kee after skul re-opens..
due to tat,we went to a food corner n yumcha there so tat d others can look through d magazine b4 i took it back home..
i chose tis place coz my bro was at somewhere there n i wanted to ask him wat time gonna go home..
so,i saw FKH there n i tried to evade him,we didnt say a single word or gaze at each other at d same time..
so,we went home at bout 1.30am..
my hands n legs kept on shiverring since i saw him till we reached home..
my mind was kinda vexed..
erm,sad..
d feeling of psycho came back again,cant b denied anymore,i rili couldnt forget him.. i tot i m strong enuf to hate him,not to think of him.. i tot i had rili stop loving tis person,i had stop missing him,stop being sad for him.. huhhh,i was wrong.. when i saw him back,i can feel tat i still miss him dearly..
after phin n cmk left my house,i went back to my room n cried..
my family members were all asleep..
so,i sms-ed phin n she accompanied me d whole nite..
i cried d whole nite,n didnt want to sleep till my dad woke up,n i was forced to sleep..
all these were exactly lik d time when i was psycho,being hurted deeply,n by d SAME PERSON..
i slept at around 5.15am..
i sent a greeting msg to him b4 i slept..
d next day[today],he sent me back a greeting msg n we sms-ed after tat..
we chatted for quite long n many topics,he asked whether will we have another chance to date again,but not now of cos,in future..
i tot for some time,n i replied him saying tat so far,i still dun wan to have a bf yet n future life will b determined in future..
dun think so much for now,so,now we are friends..
no doubt,both of us are missing each other very much..
but i think i will not have d 3rd time relationship wit him anymore..
being frens will b better,though..
today whole day i didnt eat,n it was exactly lik d time i was being a psycho,tears will drop even when i was doin my stuffs,watching tv n watsoever tat i did for d day..
luckily my mum didnt see me..
huhhh..
no worries,i will b ok very soon..
believe me,i will try my best to make everything in control,n hopefully i will b strong enuf to face anything tat might happen in d future..
*God bless..